This blog was originally written on September 1, 2014.

​I wrote a post last year sighting the differences between a nanny and a babysitter. But I didn’t even scratch the surface when I began to describe what a day in the life of a caregiver entails. While we try our best to keep routines and schedules, each day is different and we have to be prepared for surprises and all things unexpected. I am grateful to have a wonderful relationship with my current nanny family, but that has not always been the case with other families. Over this past year my eyes have been opened to so many different scenarios and situations. I don’t have many nanny friends so I decided to join various nanny groups on Facebook and I started following some nannies and doulas on Twitter as well. I’m amazed every day at what we as nannies go through. I remember reading a post from a fellow nanny stating that she found a business card for a nanny on the coffee table when she arrived to work that morning. She asked the group if she should be worried. My answer: Hell yes! I don’t know her or the family she works with, but I do know the holidays were approaching and many families decide to make changes during that time. And the truth of the matter is that she could be let go. Hopefully she has a contract in place. But then again, I could be totally wrong.

I thought I would share just a few things that I feel would be helpful to my fellow nannies and the families they work with. These things can also be applied for other household employees as well.

As a nanny:

• DO show up to work on time and call if you are going to be late.
• DO put the children first and the household second.
• DO speak respectfully of your family in all settings. You never know who is listening.
• DO keep your cool when someone makes a snide remark about your profession. Always be professional.
• DO be upfront about anything you are uncomfortable with while working.
• DO honor your contract unless the family is in breach of contract or there are unforseen circumstances.
• DO NOT be afraid to take sick days if you need to. Take care of yourself first.
• DO NOT let the children or parents walk all over you. Stand up for yourself when needed.
• DO NOT take less pay and/or hours than what you need to live on.
• DO NOT stay with a family if you are unhappy. Even you it’s for the children.

As a family:

• DO treat your nanny as a member of your family. Respect and love her (him) just as she (he) respects and loves your children.
• DO let your nanny have control of the children and the household if your are a WAHM/WAHD. You hired a nanny for reason.
• DO have a plan in place in case you or your spouse becomes unemployed. This should be included in your contract.
• DO try to remember important dates such as your nanny’s birthday, nanniversary, etc. Just remembering means a lot!
• DO speak highly of your nanny to others and recommend them to friends for babysitting. We love that!
• DO let your nanny know often how much you appreciate them and all that they do.
• DO NOT ask your nanny to get involved in personal matters concerning your marriage/divorce.
• DO NOT assume your nanny will babysit when you want a date night. We have personal lives and families too.
• DO NOT expect your nanny to travel to your home in inclement weather if you are not going in to work. Safety first!
• DO NOT expect your nanny to do things outside of their contract on a regular basis unless you discuss it first.
• DO NOT search for a nanny by stealing someone else’s nanny. Offering better pay or more vacation won’t mean anything. Family fit and trust are the most important concerns.

Is there anything you as a parent or nanny would add to this list? Comment below!

This blog was originally written on August 29, 2013.
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​So you’ve decided to hire a nanny? Now what?!

As parents and parents-to-be, the most stressful part of preparing for a new addition to the family is not making sure you have the nursery ready and stocked or adjusting to a new schedule, but searching for child care. It has to be one of the most difficult tasks that all parents face. Should I choose a day care center or hire a nanny? This question can be daunting for those who may not even be expecting yet, but it definitely requires a lot of thought, time and research. Both choices are great for their own reasons, but the bottom line is that you should have a plan in place (and a back up plan just in case your situation changes) well before your bundle of joy arrives.

Hiring a nanny versus placing your child in day care has numerous advantages. With a nanny, you get a very personal kind of care. And not just for your children, but for the whole family. Generally, a nanny not only cares for your children, but they look after your household and pets too. Nannies offer routine and consistency, but they can also be flexible when something unexpected arises as well. With a nanny, your children can have excellent care in a familiar environment and get the same educational and developmental experiences they would get at a day care center (but with less germs).

When hiring a nanny you should have these things in mind:

• type of nanny needed: full time, part time, live-in or au pair, teaching nanny or evening/night nanny.
• child care budget
• days/hours needed
• vacation/sick time
• insurance benefits
• incentives such as a vehicle to use or paid days off
• “on the books” pay vs. paying under the table
• length of time you need/want a nanny
• preferences (bilingual, certain age, nanny with children)
• additional services like light housekeeping, laundry or errands

When contacting potential nannies about their services you should be open and upfront about what you are looking for and what you are willing to offer. You may include things such as:

• general information about your family and your child care needs
• your basic requirements (education/experience, background check, CPR/First Aid certification, car)
• your budget
• days/hours needed
• comfort with pets in the home

Also, be sure to ask for a current resumé, a list of references and any letters of recommendation and a contact number for a phone interview. Phone interviews help narrow down your choices.

When interviewing potential nannies, here is a list of questions to be sure to ask:

• How did you get into the profession?
• Tell me about your last/current job. Why are you leaving?
• Tell me about your best day as a nanny?
• Tell me about your worst day as a nanny?
• What are your long-term and short-term goals (personal and professional)?
• Describe your discipline philosophy.
• What are you looking for in a family?
• What is your dream nanny job?
• Do you have a portfolio? Any special certifications?
• Are you okay with nanny cameras?
• Are you okay with driving the children?

Additional questions may need to be asked to fit your family’s individual situation. Just be sure to be open and honest.

After you have narrowed down your choice for a nanny there are a few things you should do before she/he starts. Formally offer the position to your potential nanny by phone or email and set up at least one “trial day.” Trial days are set so that you, the children and the nanny can get acquainted and see how a typical day would be for everyone. Also, if the nanny requested a contract, details should be discussed at length, agreed upon and signed BEFORE he/she starts. This will protect both you and the nanny if anything happens.

Nannies also have their own requirements and preferences when looking for potential families. They may want a lower hourly wage than others, but they may ask for benefits. Be willing to compromise on things for the right nanny. I have worked in the child care industry for over 14 years now and I have learned a lot about what I want in a nanny position. Generally, I look for a warm, young family with a traditional work schedule and bit of flexibility. I really appreciate families that have been understanding about me having a family of my own. Especially the ones that have allowed me to bring my son with me to work. Openness, honesty and genuineness are my top priorities when searching for potential families.

Hiring someone to care for your children is never easy, but I hope this helps you with your nanny search-Good Luck!

This blog was originally written on October 15, 2013.

​I love my work. I truly do. I believe caring for children and families is my calling. But I have been through a lot over the years. I’ve worked with some fantastic families and I’ve also worked with a couple of families who didn’t appreciate or acknowledge my hard work. I have been in the childcare industry for half of my life now (wow, I feel old) and the most debated issue that always seems to come up, whether I’m at the library with the kids or speaking with other nannies, is the difference between a nanny and a babysitter and the lack of respect we sometimes receive for choosing our profession.

When I first started what is now my career, I was 14 years old and just a babysitter. I must admit, that’s what I thought everyone in the industry was called. But then I went to college with the intention of becoming a teacher. I spent 5 years working towards something I didn’t really want. If I had listened to my heart, I would have spent that money on certifications and trainings. All through college I had numerous jobs, from a style consultant at the mall to telecommunications. I even interned at the N.C. General Assembly for a senator one summer. But I always seemed to gravitate back to childcare. I’ve worked in day care centers, been both a part-time and full-time nanny and I’ve also been a tutor. Nothing fulfilled me more than being with kids and helping them develop and learn. So a few years ago I decided I wanted to be a Career Nanny. Now, to the average person that sounds insane. Why would you want to spend your life caring for other people’s children? Besides, that’s not real work. I’ve never heard these words personally, but I get the looks and stares sometimes. And the fact that I could pass for a teenager doesn’t help at all. But realistically, nannies are teachers that work both inside and outside a home setting. We just don’t have to deal with all the politics and paperwork. I chose (yes, chose) this profession and it is real work.

The statement that a babysitter and a nanny are the same simply isn’t true. These terms should not, at any time, be used interchangeably. The main differences between a nanny and a babysitter are based upon education, experience and duties. A babysitter may be needed occasionally for after school care, evenings or date nights. They are only expected to care for the children and perhaps prepare a quick meal and put them to bed. But a nanny provides a multitude of services not only for the children, but for the entire family. These services can include but are not limited to childcare, housework, cooking, errands, pet care, carpool & driving to various activities and homework help. Nannies usually have an extensive background in childcare, advanced training and may be highly educated as well. There are more college-educated nannies in the field now than there used to be, most of them coming from other fields. We also continue our education with trainings & workshops and make sure we keep up with the latest certications. On top of all of this, nannies provide a very personal aspect to their charges and families. We are counselors, nurses, friends, confidants, body guards and some people even refer to us as second moms or dads. Never aiming to take the place of the parents, but special aides to the families we care so dearly about.

Nannies are also employees. We have a work agreement and get paid a salary. We get sick/vacation days and yes, we have to pay taxes. Some nannies even get incentives and perks such as a nanny vehicle, credit cards, health insurance, gym memberships and access to summer homes. And you do what for a living? Right…. :-) But it’s not about the extras. It’s about having a passion for what we do. Most nannies wouldn’t do it if they didn’t absolutely love the job. Truth be told, it can be exhausting. But the children we care for are like our own. We invest time into them and we see the pay offs and rewards each and every day. That is enough for us.

As a nanny, every day is a new challenge because you never know what can happen. You have to be prepared to expect the unexpected and be able to handle it quickly, calmly and most importantly, safely. When you hear comments like, “How can someone pay that much money for a babysitter?” it can be a bit disheartening. But each one of us knows exactly how much we are worth. We don’t have to prove anything to strangers. It would be nice to be taken as seriously as a doctor or lawyer though.

I am currently searching for a new family to work with after the new year. This will be my 7th family in nearly 6 years. I began my nanny career right when the “bubble burst” and the economic turmoil began in America, so I was not prepared to change families so many times. Every family has different circumstances. I was let go in some instances and other families I chose to leave because they didn’t meet my personal standards and expectations. Again, every nanny knows their worth and I definitely know mine now.

I am a nanny. I offer a wide range of services to the families I work with from potty training to registering the kids for activites and arranging play dates. I invest my time and effort to make sure that the children I care for are mentally, emotionally and socially well-rounded and the parents are secure in knowing that someone like me is there when they can’t be. I am also a mother. A mother who has the privelege of bringing my son to work with me. Until recently, he was with me every day. He now goes to preschool part time. The thought of leaving him with someone was scary at first, but when I thought about it, I realized that I am in that same position. I am the trusted person that cares for Baby N when her mom and dad leave each day.

So why is there so much stigma around our profession? Why don’t people respect what we do? Maybe because they simply aren’t educated. I have read a few articles and heard so many stories in the last few months from different nannies. Their awful encounters with strangers and even family members is hurtful to hear. We give virtually hugs and support each other in our online groups. It is difficult enough to work for a family that may not appreciate all that you do, but not being respected by others who have no clue what we go through each day is annoying and dare I say ignorant. If you are not a nanny and you are reading this, I hope I opened your eyes even a little bit. If you are a parent looking to hire someone, be careful not to make the mistake of asking for a nanny if you really need a babysitter. If you are a nanny and you are reading this, know that I appreciate you. Keep up the good work! Babysitters are great, but please refer to me as a nanny. We are special.

Thinking of hiring a nanny? Click here!

Did you know that September is:

• Sexual Health Month
• PCOS Awareness Month
• Gynecological Cancer Awareness Month
• Chronic Pain Awareness Month
• National Self Care Awareness Month

​Now that Fall is officially here, I wanted to revisit last year's "Self & Soul Care Season" and highlight some information related to the issues mentioned above. It is well known that the daily practice of self care keeps you in tune with your body. It becomes even more beneficial when something happens to the body such as illness, trauma or stress because you can quickly identify the problem and begin to process, reset & heal. And if you're anything like me, the balancing act we call life can get more than a little stressful at any given time. This week's guest blogger is my new friend, Shannon Thomas, Founder & CEO of Undiwash. Shannon and I connected through Endo Black earlier this summer and to say we hit it off is an understatement! I am so excited to have Shannon share her entrepreneurial journey with my followers.

1. Give me a brief background on yourself and Unidwash.
My name is Shannon Thomas the owner of UndiWash, UndiWash is a plant based vegan laundry detergent. UndiWash kills the bacteria that causes vaginal infections. I have worked in an Ob/Gyn office for the past 7 years so I am no stranger to the struggles women have with recurrent infections

2. How and why did you start Undiwash?
I have had my fair share of vaginal infections and have encountered so many women that just wanted a solution, I started UndiWash because taking antibiotics on a monthly basis was not something I wanted to continue doing. I figured there had to be another way to either stop or reduce the amount of infections I was having.

3. What were the best & most challenging parts of starting your business, both personally and professionally?
The best part about starting UndiWash is the response I have received from my clean panty crew members, the fact that my product is actually helping people get a piece of their life back is amazing to me. The challenging part personally is not being able to reach more people, I know there is a need for this product but it has been a little challenging trying to get to the masses.

4. What did you learn about yourself an­d your support system during the product development process?
I learned that we as a people can do anything that we set our minds to. There was definitely a challenge to get the correct ingredients and consistency but I was determined to figure out a way to make this product. During the entire process my crew made sure I had all the tools I needed to make this a reality.

5. Where do you see your business in 5 ­years?
I see UndiWash as a household name, We will be known for our detergent as well as the education we provide to anyone that will listen. Most people have not been taught proper hygiene techniques especially when it comes to our delicates.

6. What advice do you have for anyone looking to start a bu­siness?
The advice that I have for anyone looking to start a business would be to pray to be able to handle all of the things that comes with having a business especially if that is not the personality you have. For example, I am not used to talking to people. It takes me a while to be comfortable enough to hold a conversation with a stranger. With my type of business I have to talk to people to explain my product, I have to pray to be able to be comfortable enough to get that part of my business done. If i didn't pray I know anxiety would take over because this is something I would be uncomfortable doing.

7. Who do you look up to or admire in the holistic health community?
The person I look up to would be Bea Dixon, she is open and honest about how she started her business and she gives great advice to help others in this realm.

8. Tell me about your most recent business wi­n.
UndiWash is officially a part of the Spice Girlin Tribe, Being a Spice Girl with The Spice Suite gives our crew a brick and mortar place where they can come to chat with me while purchasing the products they need.

To learn more about UndiWash follow us on Instagram @Undiwash or visit our website ww.undiwash.co

Now that Summer is over (that was FAST), I wanted to share my new daily schedule. I still haven't had a chance to update all of my calendars, so please save this for reference.

September 4th thru 6th-Closed
October 11th-Closed
Due to my current client load and professional responsibilities, I will be less available in the next few months. Email or text will be the best ways to contact me.

BOBWDS Birth Calendar: I have had some recent changes to my birth calendar and I have 1 October and 1 November birth spaces available at the moment. Update as of September 17th: my calendar is closed for 2021.

Doula Consultations (via phone): Monday & Tuesday evenings, weekend consultations by request only

Prenatal Meetings (in person): weekends only

Postpartum & Reproductive Care Services: Tuesday afternoons & weekends only

CPR/First Aid: Registration for CPR/First Aid is currently on hold for individuals and businesses. Please contact me if you want to be added to the training waitlist or if you want a private training.

Doula Mentorship will resume in February 2022.

Zumba:
September class session begins on Wednesday, September 1st. Classes are on Wednesdays at 7 p.m.
4 classes for $40 (The 5th Wednesday will be drop in only)
Register for the sessions here>>> raleighnc.gov/reclink or drop in for $12.
Stay tuned for @fitnessmomshell meetups and pop up events!

Safety measures and precautions are still in place as we continue to navigate Covid-19. Mask wearing, social distancing and handwashing will take place at all meetings. Virtual meetings will still be an option for your comfort and ​convenience.