The Emotional Reality of Returning to Work
One of the biggest challenges new moms and dads face when returning to work is the emotional tug-of-war that comes with leaving their baby in someone else’s care. Whether your little one is staying with a family member, a nanny, or going to daycare, it can be heart-wrenching to walk away each morning knowing someone else will witness their smiles, feedings, and firsts during the day.
Common emotional challenges include:
- Guilt about not being there every moment.
- Separation anxiety—not just for the baby, but for you, too.
- Fear of missing out on milestones.
- Overwhelm from juggling work responsibilities and parenting.
Preparing Physically: Establishing a New Routine
The key to easing back into work is creating a routine that supports both your well-being and your baby's needs.
Here’s how to get started:
1. Practice the Morning Routine Early- A week or two before your official return, do a few trial runs of your morning schedule. Wake up at the time you would for work, get yourself and your baby ready, and leave the house as if you’re heading to work. This helps both of you adjust to the rhythm without the pressure of a real workday.
2. Build a Consistent Sleep and Feeding Schedule- Work with your baby to find a predictable sleep and feeding schedule that aligns with your working hours. This will help the person caring for your baby maintain consistency, which is comforting for babies and reassuring for you. If you are planning to pump while you are working, be sure to make the necessary arrangements to be able to do so (pumping space, scheduled time for pumping sessions and milk storage).
3. Prepare Meals and Outfits Ahead of Time- Evening preparation is a game-changer. Lay out clothes, prep bottles, pack your lunch, and organize your baby’s diaper bag the night before to minimize morning stress.
4. Prioritize Self-Care- Returning to work isn’t just about your baby—it’s also about you. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and incorporating some gentle movement (even a walk counts). A healthy mom is a happier, more present mom.
Preparing Emotionally: Coping with Separation and Change
1. Visit and Trust the Caregiver- Spend time getting to know the caregiver or daycare staff. Observe how they interact with your baby and ask plenty of questions. Feeling confident in who’s caring for your baby can ease separation anxiety and help you focus at work.
2. Start with Short Separations- Ease into longer days apart by starting with shorter separations if possible. Begin with a few hours and gradually extend the time. This allows both you and your baby to adjust more gently.
3. Stay Connected During the Day- Ask your caregiver to send updates or photos throughout the day. A quick message can offer enormous comfort and help bridge the distance.
4. Create Special Rituals- Make the most of the time you do have. Create simple morning or bedtime rituals that are just for you and your baby. Whether it's singing a special song, reading a book, or snuggling before bed, these moments will be cherished and help strengthen your bond.
5. Give Yourself Grace- Some days will be harder than others. There may be tears (from both of you), forgotten items, or guilt that creeps in unexpectedly. Allow yourself to feel all of it without judgment. You’re doing your best—and that’s enough.
Lean on your village, trust your instincts, and don’t forget—you’ve already done something incredible by becoming a mother. Returning to work is just another way you’re showing up with strength and love.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to returning to work after baby. But by preparing your routine, nurturing your emotional health, and building a support system, you can ease the transition and create a life where both you and your baby can thrive.