As more and more people receive the COVID-19 vaccine and North Carolina begins to loosen it's restrictions throughout the state, I wanted to give another (prayerfully my last) operational update for Best of Both Worlds Doula Services. 
 
Beginning in April, Best of Both Worlds Doula Services will conduct in person consultations and meetings in addition to the current virtual option. Reminder: contracts can be signed and sent electronically or by mail. Any and all payments (deposits or otherwise) means the client acknowledges and agrees to the doula contract and all stipulations. Certain policies and practices will still be in place due to COVID-19 restrictions and mandates.

My Availability: I will have limited availability for any services in April due to dental surgery and recovery. I am currently taking birth clients due in June and beyond. Postpartum services will tentatively resume in May. Travel doula services will tentatively resume in Summer 2021.

Adult and Infant CPR/First Aid/AED training will be available to clients, small businesses and birth workers in April. Email me for more info and registration. Group rates available. Limited number of registrants for safety.

Zumba classes are still currently on hold for the time being since the community center is still closed to the public. I am currently looking for an alternate location to host classes. All other health and fitness services will be accommodated at my discretion depending on clients wants and needs. Check out my Fitness Momshell Facebook page for updates... NEW SERVICES COMING SOON!

Best of Both Worlds Doula Services is committed to providing you quality, safe support as we navigate COVID-19. Thank you for understanding and continued support.

Reminders:

• Know your rights. Hospital policies are not law.
• Advocate for yourself and reiterate your birth vision when necessary.
• If you or someone you know has given birth during the COVID-19 pandemic, please feel free to participate in my Birth in 2020 project. Learn more here.
• Need vaccine info? Click here to read my quick info guide.

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Below you can find links to all of the local hospitals to obtain current visitor policies & restrictions. These policies are changing every day so please be sure to confirm what is stated here and on their website by calling or emailing.

*UNC Health Care/Rex Hospital

*WakeMed Health and Hospitals

*Duke Health
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Women's Birth and Wellness Center

*Wake County Health Department

*Durham County Health Department

*Johnston County Health Department

The * indicates the COVID-19 test sites.

It's World Doula Week and that means doulas around the globe are celebrating and educating people about the roles of doulas and how we support parents & families. This week is always extra special to me because I gave birth to my son in the middle of the very first World Doula Week! Today I wanted to share some information about doulas that you may or may not know.

DID YOU KNOW?

Doulas aren't just for birth.

Doulas support all types of family dynamics.

Doulas provide non-judgmental physical, emotional and educational support to individuals and families during pregnancy, labor and postpartum period.

Doulas are expertly trained in a variety of methods that ease the tension and discomfort associated with labor.

Doulas support both the birthing person and partner/spouse.

Doulas support both medicated and unmedicated birth.

Doulas support all types of births including cesarean section births.

Doulas support adoptive families and surrogates.

Doulas support hospital births and home births.

Doulas support families with multiples.

​Doulas support new and veteran parents.

Doulas support all birth and postpartum plans.

Doulas are not midwives.

Doula support families who experience loss.

Doulas can help you with breast/chest/baby feeding.

Doulas support your right to change your mind.

Postpartum doulas are trained to recognize symptoms and signs of postpartum mood disorders.

Many doulas have specialties and may offer a variety of family services.

​There are several types of doulas. Learn more here.

Happy Small Business Saturday!

It's that wonderful time of year when we reflect on all that we have accomplished (and survived) throughout the year. This is also normally the time that we gather together with loved ones to celebrate life & all that is good and officially kick off the holiday season. But clearly this year has been much different. No matter how you are gathering and celebrating, I also hope you carved out some down time for yourself too (remember, it's soul care season).

Thanksgiving (Pre-Black Friday) kicked off the biggest shopping weekend of the year and while I know your bank accounts may look and feel different this year, I am here again to help you start and finish your holiday shopping locally!

Why shop local?

Small businesses account for almost half of America's workforce and two-thirds of new jobs. Shopping local supports your community by

• Keeping money inside your city, county and state
• Helping business owners support their families while living their dreams
• Highlighting unique products, services and local talent

​Today I'm featuring some local businesses and entrepreneurs who are sure to provide just the right gift, product or service you are looking for. Most of these businesses are black and/or female owned and each featured business is complete with details & deals for added convenience (click business name to view website). Whether you're shopping for a loved one, the entrepreneur in your life or yourself, you wont be disappointed! You can view my Small Business Saturday/Year End Special here.

DeAntony Collins, Designer/Creator/Owner of Collins Unlimited
Social Media: Instagram
Mission/Purpose: Creating unique custom designs and crafts; Bring me your ideas, let's create something special!
Location/Areas Served: Triangle area of North Carolina; nationwide
Holiday Specials: Custom Baby Nursery Lamp giveaway in December
Contact Info: collinsunltd@gmail.com

Preston Collins, Creator/Artist/YouTuber
Social Media: Instagram
Mission/Purpose: Expressing myself through my art makes me happy
Location/Areas Served: Triangle area; nationwide
Holiday Specials: A portion of the proceeds from all my commissions will go to Note in the Pocket
Contact Info: prestona.k.collins@gmail.com

Valarie S. Thomas, Social Media Consulting
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook Group
Mission/Purpose: My mission is to help African Americans in the health and wellness space reach the clients that need them through social media.
Location/Service Area: Nationwide
Holiday Specials: Black Friday Upkeep Package
-Social media strategy and Management
-5 templates for your posts
-1 platform
-content creation
-caption research & creation
-Hashtag research
-Follower growth
-scheduled posts 2 -3 days a week
Yes, an extra day of posting at no extra cost!
*For your first 3 months
Contact Info: valarie@valariesthomas.com

Krisna Guyton, My Parenting Partners LLC
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook
Mission/Purpose: My mission is to help Mompreneurs find the time they need to build the business they want. So they will have a more flexible schedule to create financial freedom and never miss a precious moment with their loved ones.
Location/Service Area: Serving Mompreneurs Across The Globe
Holiday Specials: Black Friday: Complimentary 30 minute consultations 11/27-11/29 Cyber Monday: 50% off Mommy Balance Bundle and E-book CROSS INTO BALANCE USE CODE: CYBERMONDAY
Contact Info: info@myparentingpartners.com Text 22828 to join mailing list to receive time management and organizational tips for mompreneurs

Martha Smith Photography, Annette Tillery
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook
Mission/Purpose: Martha Smith Tillery Photography is about printing memories and capturing unforgettable life moments.
Location/Service Area: North Carolina, Virginia
Contact Info: (919) 332-8607

Clean by Queen LLC, Shadona David
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook
Mission/Purpose: Our mission is to provide affordable luxury cleaning assistance to the hardworking professional.
Location/Service Area: We currently service the Maryland, Virginia, DC and North Carolina Areas
Holiday Specials: Black Friday Special- New customers can enjoy 1 free carpet cleaning in a room of their choice with the booking of any cleaning service. This special is offered for the entire month of December.
Contact Info: 919-819-4671, yassssquenn@yahoo.com

The Boy Mom Project, Tiffany Haynes
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook
Mission/Purpose: The Boymom Project, provides a safe space for BOYMOMS raising boys of color in today’s society. To discuss our journeys, share quick mom tips and topics affecting our boys from a BOYMOMS perspective
Location/Service Area: Serving Boymoms everything but focusing on New York and the RDU Raleigh, NC area.
Contact Info: (347)626-9967, TheBoymomProject@gmail.com

Boujee Bellies, Janay Edwards
Social Media: Instagram
Mission/Purpose: Luxury Body Casting & Keepsakes
Location/Service Area: Raleigh, NC
Holiday Specials: 10% off services
Upcoming Events: Black Power Pop Up Shop 11.27 at The Loc Lounge (located in Triangle Town Center next to Dillards)
Contact Info: 919-271-0401, Email: holley@boujeebellies.com

Brooke Snell, Beaded by Brooke
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook
Mission/Purpose: Beaded by Brooke isn’t just a handmade jewelry boutique. Each waist bead is dedicated to empowering you, healing you and paying homage to women you came from.
Location/Service Area: Based is Raleigh, NC, but can ship worldwide.
Contact Info: beadedbybrxoxoke@gmail.com

Batch Childcare, Krystal Underdue
Social Media Pages: Instagram
Mission/Purpose: Group chilcare for large events
Location/Service Area: Triangle area of NC; will travel outside of NC
Contact Info: bacthchildcare@gmail.com

POD Creative, Lesley Loren
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook
Mission/Purpose: Making custom masks, handkerchiefs, and other handmade items as a way to support my family during this covid crisis.
Location/Service Area: Garner, NC but can ship anywhere
Holiday Specials: Holiday print masks are 2/$15; Small Business Saturday Specials TBA; Anyone that mentions seeing this article will receive a free mask lanyard with order.
Contact Info: Lesley Loren 919.590.2491, Pod143creative@gmail.com

Carolina Garden Coaching
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook
Mission/Purpose: It is our mission to share gardening knowledge and inspire others to take control of growing food that nourishes the mind, body, and soul.
Location/Service Area: The Triangle Area - Raleigh, Durham, Cary, Apex, Chapel Hill
Holiday Specials: Discount on coaching sessions when you book your consultations during the dates 11/25/20 - 12/25/20. Buy 3 coaching sessions get one free. Other deals to come.
Contact Info: Carolinagardencoaching@gmail.com

Carolina Noir Photography, Sarah Faye Ward
Social Media: Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok @boudoir_in_nc
Mission/Purpose: My mission is create an environment where women are free to unleash their fire.
Location/Service Area: Durham, NC & surrounding areas
Holiday Specials: Join my VIP group on FB for Black Friday flash sales including a $99 retainer fee special
Contact Info: 919-606-1341, Email: carolinanoirphotography@gmail.com

Have you ever wondered about the meaning behind the name of my doula business? It has taken me a long time to verbalize and express the full meaning and I thought I would share it with you today.

In early 2015, I attended my very first doula training after two years of researching and planning my transition into entrepreneurship. Working as a professional nanny for 10 years had been an amazing experience, but I wanted more. I wanted to offer more to the families I was working with. And I also wanted more for my own family. I wanted to build a long lasting legacy rooted in community and support.

Over the last 5 ½ years, Best of Both Worlds Doula Services has become so much more than I ever dreamed. My early years of both motherhood and business proved to be more than a challenge, but as I navigated my way through milestones & memories, I grew more confident in my abilities as a natural caregiver. I have seen the good, the bad and everything in between serving various family dynamics. If I haven't experienced it firsthand, I know someone who has and I have assisted them through the learning process.

Best of Both Worlds Doula Services is where
Passion meets purpose...
Faith meets fulfillment...
Knowledge meets experience...
Tradition meets modern...
Empowerment meets advocacy...
Commitment meets community...

With 20 years of experience in me, you can guarantee top notch support & care from a family expert. I understand how unique each family dynamic is and I will meet you where you are and provide quality service to ensure that your family will thrive.

Contact me today to schedule your complimentary phone consultation.

In honor of my 10th wedding anniversary today, I'm sharing a throwback guest blog interview from 2015.

This week, I am really excited to reintroduce my friend and author, Kalonda Coleman. Last year she wrote a fantastic book called Holy MatriMommy. If you haven’t read it-you need to! Whether you are single, engaged or married, this book is for all those who desire to be in a committed relationship. I loved it so much, I read it THREE times (really)! Reading Kalonda’s story and being able to reference biblical scripture while reading was invaluable to me. Her book came along at the right time for me personally. I can truly say that her book changed the way I thought about marriage and my relationship with my husband. Below is the interview I did with her and her husband. It also includes a special sneak peek of her second book, which she is currently writing. Enjoy!

Kalonda’s Interview

1. For those who have not read Holy MatriMommy, briefly tell everyone a little about it?
Holy MatriMommy is a two-part book on marriage and motherhood from a Christian perspective. Each part of the book begins with a peek into my personal testimony as a wife and mother, and then I share some practical, biblical insight in how to find the grace and joy in our daily trials and routines.

2. On page 35, your husband says "God said he wants the book." When exactly did God first lay it on your heart to write Holy MatriMommy?
When I left graduate school in 2010, I left with the intention of writing a book. I felt that would be a good alternative to the career in engineering that I had planned. As a fairly new Christian, I thought I was going to write about the transition that occurs when you give your life to Christ. I struggled for the next three years to complete a manuscript. But when God laid Holy MatriMommy on my heart, I wrote it in three months, even while being pregnant and caring for my one-year old.

3. In the book, you talk about submission. What would you tell the women out there who just don't believe in submitting?
What we choose to believe or disbelieve never changes the truth. It just changes our perception of it. Most women have a hard time with submission because they think it is synonymous with weakness. That’s just simply not true. Jesus submitted to God, not because He was less than God, but because the redemption plan worked better that way. Submission is about functionality. It’s about efficiency. If you’re a Christian woman, I would just ask that you read the Word, trust God, and try it for yourself.

4. How has writing and releasing Holy MatriMommy changed your marriage, life and you personally? What have you learned about yourself?
Through this process God has taught me that my validation comes from Him. I was so insecure when I released Holy MatriMommy because I felt that others would think that I had no right to write a book on marriage and motherhood being such a young wife and mother. But God has shown me that years and experience don’t qualify me; He does. Where I am weak, He is made strong.
It’s funny. I thought Holy MatriMommy would be my first and last book. I couldn’t imagine that I had anything else book-worthy to say after Holy MatriMommy released. But honestly, Holy MatriMommy seems to have opened the floodgates. I’m learning more about the publishing process, and God has already given me the vision for books 2 and 3.

5. What advice about life and love would you give your younger yourself?
Trust God. Matthew 6:33 says it all, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

6. What do you hope your children learn from your book(s)?
God is real, and He is present. He cares about our day-to-day lives, and because of Him our ordinary lives have extraordinary purpose.

7. While this book appears to be for married mothers, I would suggest it to both men and women, married or single. Do you have any advice for singles? Married couples on the brink of divorce?
Singles: Trust God and don’t waste your singleness wishing it away. I love my husband and children dearly, and I believe that marriage and motherhood do make a big impact on the kingdom of God. But a single person is perfectly positioned to make an impact in a different way. A single person has much more time for ministry, mission trips, conferences, fellowship, etc. Dream big, obey quickly, and trust fully. Don’t waste your life.
Struggling couples: The key to a successful marriage is God’s grace. God’s grace enables you to continue loving even when the other person doesn’t seem to respond to your efforts. Grace comes when you realize your love is not dependent on the actions of your spouse, but on the faithfulness of your God.
Through God all things are possible. Don’t allow your thoughts and emotions to run your marriage. Take every thought captive and make it obedient to the words of Christ: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor. 13:4-7)” The best thing you could do for your marriage is submit it to God and love one day at a time.

8. How did children change your marriage?
Now that’s a loaded question! It’s no secret that children cause drastic changes for their parents both individually and as a couple, but when I look back on how we’ve navigated the parenting waves, I can truly say we’ve changed for the better. My husband and I are best friends, which has made the majority of our relationship really easy, but there’s nothing easy about raising children. When children were added to our marriage, our quality time dramatically decreased. We no longer had time for petty arguments and silent treatments, we had to prioritize date nights, and even now we often have to sacrifice pride and personal conveniences in order to move on with our day. However, we’ve also grown closer as we’ve learned how to serve each other graciously in the chaos of parenthood and daily living.

9. Can you share your personal method balancing being a wife and mother? Can it really be done successfully?
Yes it can be done successfully, and the method that guarantees success in marriage and motherhood is the same method that guarantees success in any other area of life: Stay close to the vine. Jesus said, “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. (John 15:4)”
Success may not look the way we think it should, but if we remain rooted in Christ, we will witness His faithfulness in our lives and the lives of those around us.

10. Can you give my readers a sneak peek of the next book?
Maybe just a little lol. Here’s a sneak peek of my devotional:

Day 6: The Gift of Relationship

Focus Verse: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18 NKJV

The strength behind any great commitment is God’s grace. If we look at grace as God giving us what we don’t deserve, we’ll realize that every relationship we have is evidence of His grace. Why is it that some of us come from great, loving two-parent homes and some of us are raised in foster care? Why is it that some of us could be a case study in birth control fails, and others struggle to conceive month after month? Is there something about the newlywed 18-year-old that makes her more deserving of love than the single 40-year-old? The answer is no. We may have to earn trust and respect, but we don’t earn love. God has created a diversity of relationships, and He gives them to us all as gifts for His purposes. God, knowing our innate desire for intimacy, has given us relationships to support us, teach us, challenge us, and help us develop into the people He created us to be.


Practical Application: Choose a relationship from your past. Write God a letter thanking Him for placing this person in your life. Be sure to include how your relationship with this person has changed you for the better.

Marcus’ Interview

1. What daily sacrifices did you make while Kalonda wrote and edited Holy MatriMommy?
Kalonda was pregnant (third trimester) with our son Andrew while she wrote and edited Holy MatriMommy. My main priority at that time was just being the emotional and spiritual support she needed as well as keeping her encouraged throughout both writing and pregnancy processes. I spent some days either convincing Kalonda it's okay that her favorite jeans aren't fitting like they used to or the last paragraph she wrote was actually a good one! Also, I remember times when I'd have to cook or clean (and sometimes both) after work because she had spent most of the day writing.

2. How did you feel after reading the first draft of the book?
Relief! All I remember of that moment is a big sigh of relief after the manuscript was completed. I wanted to frame it because that piece of work represented so many frustrations, burdens, and difficult times that were now behind us. Kalonda wrote the manuscript without having a publishing contract with anyone, but I felt like she had just topped the New York Times Best Seller's list!

3. How has your life been different as a husband and father since the book was released?
I'm continually learning an invaluable lesson in the importance of supporting your spouse's dreams. Personally, it's rather easy for me to cut a check for a new computer or to review the contract for the publishing deal. However, it doesn't come easy to me to support Kalonda in other areas that are more critical to her well being. I often ask myself, "Am I dreaming with her?" or "Does she know that I'm hoping with her for God to deliver or provide?" That kind of support is more challenging to me as it requires a greater level of involvement in her spiritual and emotional matters. My life is slightly different now as I try to express my support in ways that mean the most to her, as opposed to ways that are more convenient for me.

4. Kalonda is currently writing her second book. How do you feel the second time around? Are there things about Kalonda's writing process that you now know?
The circumstances of our family are very different this time around! I think writing the book is easy. However, carving out the time to write is proving to be extremely difficult. I find myself stressed out at times asking God, "Where in the world do we find the time to do anything these days?" My wife's at home all day with two very active toddlers, one of which still isn't sleeping through the night. However, I think overall we're experiencing less anxiety since this will be our second round through the writing and publishing processes. We now have a better idea of what to expect this time.

5. What is the most important thing that you want your children to learn from your marriage?
Great question! I often think about this as I observe the world we live in today. The main point I want my children to understand concerning marriage is God's design is perfect. The plan works if you work the plan! Call me naïve or crazy, but I truly believe 100% of all marriages will succeed if they employ His plan.
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