 The holidays are often painted as a season of light, laughter, and togetherness. But for many families, this time of year arrives carrying an ache that’s hard to put into words. An empty chair at the table. A quiet house where a child’s laughter once filled the air. A job lost, a dream deferred, a relationship changed, a body that no longer feels the same after birth or loss. Grief doesn’t take a holiday break. Many people often feel pressure (spoken or unspoken) to “be strong,” to show up for others, or to recreate joy for their families even when their own hearts feel heavy. Even I have expereinced a great deal of unexpected loss and grief this year both personally and professinally. If you’re walking through the holidays after loss, I want you to know this first and foremost: Your grief is valid. Your sadness is not a failure of faith. And joy does not mean pretending everything is okay. Grief and Joy Can Coexist One of the greatest misunderstandings about grief, especially within faith spaces, is the idea that joy replaces sorrow. But scripture tells a different story. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” —Psalm 34:18 Joy, in a biblical sense, is not forced cheerfulness or constant gratitude. It is a quiet, steady hope rooted in God’s presence with us, even in the valley. You can grieve deeply and still experience moments of joy. You can laugh one moment and cry the next. Both can live side by side. Joy may look different now. Softer. Quieter. More fleeting. And that’s okay. Naming the Losses We Carry Loss during the holidays isn’t always tied to death alone. Many families are grieving:
Grief after birth, whether after a traumatic delivery, NICU stay, infertility journey, or postpartum struggles, can feel especially isolating during a season that celebrates new life and happiness. If this is you, please know this: God sees every part of your story, including the chapters you never wanted to write. Gentle Ways to Make Space for Joy (Without Forcing It) Joy doesn’t need to be manufactured. Often, it’s received quietly when we allow ourselves grace. 1. Lower the bar. This may not be the year for elaborate traditions or full calendars. Give yourself permission to simplify. A peaceful day is enough. 2. Create new traditions. It’s okay if old traditions feel painful. Light a candle in remembrance. Write a prayer. Take a quiet walk. Invite God into something new. 3. Let yourself feel it all. Suppressing grief doesn’t protect joy, it delays healing. Tears are not a setback; they are a form of release. 4. Ask for support. Just as I remind new parents they weren’t meant to do postpartum alone, grief was never meant to be carried in isolation. Lean on trusted friends, your faith community, or a professional if needed. 5. Look for holy moments, not happy ones. Joy may show up as a deep breath, a kind word, a warm meal, or a moment of rest. These are sacred, too. A Faith Reminder for the Weary Heart “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” —Matthew 5:4 God does not rush your healing. He does not ask you to skip over grief to prove your trust in Him. He meets you in it. The incarnation we celebrate at Christmas is a reminder that God entered a broken world, not a perfect one, and chose to dwell with us in our pain. If this holiday season feels heavier than joyful, you are not alone. There is no timeline for grief. There is no right way to mourn. And there is no expiration date on love. But know that our God heals and he is waiting to do it for you, May this season hold space for your sorrow and gently invite moments of peace. May you feel God’s nearness in the quiet moments and His grace when the days feel overwhelming. And may joy, however small and however unexpected, find you exactly where you are. If you are grieving, you are seen. You are held. And you do not walk this season alone. 
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 The Honest Truth: parenting is hard. Not just “I’ve-been-up-all-night” hard, or “my-toddler-just-flushed-my-keys” hard. I'm talking next-level hard. And while sleep deprivation, mystery stains, and the eternal search for matching socks play their part, there's one sneaky culprit that makes this whole parenting thing truly bananas:
Everyone suddenly becomes a parenting expert. Yep. The real reason parenting is so hard? It’s not your baby. It’s your great aunt Carol, your neighbor Sharon, the random barista who just “has to say something,” and don’t forget the infinite scroll of contradictory advice from Instagram moms who look like they haven’t ever had spit-up on their sweaters. The real reason parenting is so hard is because everybody has an opinion on how YOU should parent YOUR child(ren). How Sway?! You bring your baby to the park and someone tells you they’re underdressed. Another tells you they’re overdressed. One stranger says co-sleeping is the only way, while another gasps in horror that your baby isn’t in their crib at 7:03 p.m. sharp. If babies came with instruction manuals, every page would be written in a different handwriting—with conflicting advice in the margins. Welcome to the wild ride of unsolicited parenting wisdom. But here’s the thing no one tells you enough (unless you’ve got that one cool friend who keeps it real): You’re allowed to ignore the noise. In fact, you should. Because the truth is, nobody—not your mom, not your pediatrician (okay, maybe a little bit your pediatrician), and definitely not that Facebook mom’s group—is raising your baby. You are. And you’re going to get a lot of things right. You’re also going to mess some stuff up. That’s called parenting. It’s not a mistake, it’s how it works. Every cry, every giggle, every midnight panic-Google (please don't Google) builds your parenting muscle. You don’t learn how to parent by reading all the blogs (yes, including this one—ironic, I know). You learn it the old-fashioned way: by doing it. By trial. By error. By rerouting. And by trusting that little voice inside you that says, “Okay, I’ve got this. I think.” So, the next time someone offers you the tip that “saved their baby’s sleep/feeding/sanity,” smile politely. Say “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” And then do whatever the heck you think is right. Because you're not raising their baby. You’re raising yours. And you're doing great—even if your shirt is inside out and your toddler just ate a crayon. Hang in there, trust your gut, and remember: no one knows your baby like you do. Someday you’ll get to give your own unsolicited advice. Just think of it as a rite of passage.  Parenthood is a rollercoaster—equal parts joy, terror, and mystery odors. Some days you're crushing it and other days you're barely hanging on and giving it just enough to keep everybody alive. The truth? Raising kids is weird, messy, loud... and absolutely hilarious. If you know where to look (hint: everywhere), the humor in parenthood is not only real, it's what will keep you sane. 1. The Comedy is in the Chaos The toddler tantrum over the “wrong” color cup. The six-year-old logic that explains how underwear is optional at school. The teen who’s suddenly embarrassed by the way you breathe. These moments are comedy gold—eventually. Maybe not in the moment, but give it time. Or a group text with your best parent friends. Need reassurance? Check out “Sh*t My Dad Says” by Justin Halpern, which began as a Twitter account and evolved into a hilarious memoir of growing up with a brutally honest (and unintentionally funny) father. It’s a reminder that even the most off-the-wall parenting moments make for the best stories later. 2. Lower the Bar (And Your Expectations) Perfection is a trap. Let go of the Pinterest-worthy bento boxes and embrace the chicken nuggets. Your child will survive mismatched socks and cereal for dinner. The real parenting wins are surviving Target with toddlers or managing to drink your coffee before it gets cold. For a perfect dose of reality, “Toddlers Are Aholes: It’s Not Your Fault” by Bunmi Laditan delivers a painfully accurate (and funny) look at life with tiny, irrational dictators. She reminds us all that it’s okay to laugh at the absurdity of parenting life—because that’s what it is: absurd. 3. Kids Say the Darndest (And Most Terrifying) Things Children are unfiltered little truth bombs with a gift for mortifying their parents in public. Their questions, observations, and bedtime stall tactics are often unintentionally hilarious. Take comfort in “I Heart My Little A-Holes” by Karen Alpert, a laugh-out-loud collection of parenting mishaps, awkward moments, and brutally honest truths. Alpert’s self-deprecating style gives all parents permission to laugh at themselves—and their offspring. 4. Celebrate the Small Wins Did you remember picture day? Amazing. Got your child to eat something green? You’re a wizard. Laughed at a poop joke? Welcome to the club. Parenthood is built on these small victories and the ability to find joy (or at least sarcasm) in them. For inspiration, revisit “Go the Fk to Sleep” by Adam Mansbach, the picture book for grown-ups that perfectly captures the bedtime battle—and your inner monologue. Bonus: there’s a version read by Samuel L. Jackson that deserves a spot in the Parenting Hall of Fame. 5. Share the Struggle Some of the funniest parenting moments come from swapping stories with other sleep-deprived grown-ups. Community is key. Whether it's a mom group, a dad podcast, or a 2 a.m. Reddit thread titled "Is this rash normal?", laughter connects us. Don’t miss “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids” by Jancee Dunn, which tackles the relationship side of parenting with humor, honesty, and actionable advice for keeping your sense of humor—and your marriage—alive through the trenches. Parenting isn’t a sitcom, but it sure has the material for one. So the next time your kid draws a mustache on the cat or announces loudly in public that “Mommy tooted,” take a breath and laugh. These are the moments you will retell at their graduation party... or wedding... or to their therapist. After all, if we can't laugh at parenting, we’ll probably just cry into that day-old coffee. And that’s just no fun.  More Humorous Books to Keep You Sane:
 Welcome to the wild, beautiful, and sometimes bewildering world of parenthood. That first year after your baby arrives? It’s a whirlwind. You will survive off of cat naps and cold coffee. You won't see or talk to your friends for months at a time. The words "clean up" will mean something completely different after a few weeks. You will think about things you have never thought of before like death from lack of sleep or cracked nipples. You will do things like dance to Prince at 2 a.m. just to get your baby to stop crying. And sometimes you will wonder what you were thinking when you wanted to have a baby. But the first year is also equal parts joy, exhaustion, and recalibration of your entire life.
You’ll hear advice from every direction, but there are some truths you don’t hear enough about. So let me tell you the real deal about what to expect, how to survive, and maybe even thrive during that unforgettable (and often unforgiving) first year. 1. Just Like Marriage, the First Year Is the Hardest Bringing a baby home is a dream come true… and also a shock to the system. You're navigating sleepless nights, diaper blowouts, feeding schedules, and a brand-new identity as “Mom” or “Dad.” It’s not uncommon for couples to experience tension during this time. You’re both stretched thin. Be patient with each other. Communicate often. Laugh when you can. And remember: this is a season — not forever. 2. You and Your Partner Will Have Different Parenting Styles One of you may be laid-back. The other may Google every symptom at 2 a.m. You might handle crying with cuddles, and your partner with rocking and pacifiers. Different isn’t wrong, it’s just different. Work together to find a middle ground. Respect and trust each other. Your baby will benefit from seeing both of you show up with love, even in your own unique ways. 3. Children Change Everything, Including Your Marriage Your life as a couple takes a backseat to bottles, burp cloths, and baby giggles. The freedom you once had to plan spontaneous date nights? Gone (for now). But with intentional effort, your marriage can not only survive, it can grow. Let your partner know you still see them. Prioritize time to connect, even if it’s just a hug in the kitchen or a whispered “I love you” over a mountain of laundry. 4. Intimacy Is a Lifeline, Not a Luxury We’re not just talking about sex—although that, too, when you're ready. Intimacy in the first year is about touch, emotional closeness, and feeling like a team. Don't let exhaustion steal that bond. Find your rhythm again. Sometimes, intimacy looks like holding hands while watching baby sleep. Other times, it’s a heartfelt conversation after midnight feedings. Keep choosing each other. 5. Relationships Will Change (Be Prepared to Lose Some) It’s painful, but true. Not everyone will stick around once you enter parenthood. Some friends won’t understand why you can’t text back or why you keep canceling plans. Some family members might not support your choices. Let them go with grace. The ones who matter will show up. And you’ll find new connections — in playgroups, in your neighborhood, even online — with people who get it. 6. Go Out — Even If It’s With the Baby Yes, it’s a hassle to pack the diaper bag, time feedings, and navigate the world with a baby in tow. Do it anyway. Fresh air and a change of scenery are crucial for your mental health. Grab coffee. Take a walk. Go to the bookstore. Even a trip to the grocery store can feel like a mini vacation in those early months. 7. Time Management Will Be Redefined Forget the old to-do lists. Success now looks like everyone got dressed today or you remembered to eat lunch before 3 p.m. Time becomes elastic and weird. You’ll become a master multitasker—answering emails while rocking a baby, folding laundry during naps, and scheduling showers like military operations. Flexibility is your new superpower. 8. Know the Signs of Mental Health Distress Postpartum depression and anxiety are real. They don’t make you a bad parent. They make you human. If you're crying more than usual, feeling numb, irritable, or disconnected, don’t brush it off. Talk to your doctor. Reach out to a friend. Therapy and support groups can be life-changing. You deserve to feel like you again. 9. Always Have a Camera Nearby These moments—the sleepy smiles, the first laugh, the way your baby wraps their hand around your finger — they go by fast. Capture them. Even the messy, imperfect ones. You’ll be so glad you did when you're looking back, wondering how they grew up so quickly. 10. Don’t Stress Over Developmental Milestones Every baby is on their own timeline. Some crawl at six months, others not until ten. Some sleep through the night early, others don’t until toddlerhood. Comparison steals joy. Trust your instincts and your pediatrician — not Instagram. 11. Your New Normal: Work-Life Balance, Redefined Returning to work? Staying at home? Building a side hustle during naps? However your days are structured, balance isn’t about equal time, it’s about presence. When you’re with your baby, be with them. When you’re working, give yourself permission to focus. You won’t always get it right. That’s okay. You’re learning. And that, in itself, is parenting. The first year of parenting is a masterclass in growth—for you, your partner, and your baby. It’s messy. It’s beautiful. And it’s okay if it doesn’t look picture-perfect. Breathe. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate the small wins. And remember: you’re not alone.  Do you have high lipase breast milk? I first learned about high lipase breast milk when I was working as a nanny. I was caring for a newborn and one day while preparing his bottle, I noticed a difference in the milk. It smelled different, like it had gone bad. But how could that be? Ths mom had just pumped the milk the night before. So I went upstairs to tell her and we both agreed to see if the baby would drink the milk. He did. But this led to an afternoon of unexpected research to figure out what was going on with her milk. What had she eaten recently? Was she sick? Was this a one time thing? Should she call her OBGYN? And most importantly, would the baby experience any adverse affects after consuming the milk? For many breastfeeding mothers, pumping and storing breast milk offers flexibility and peace of mind. But some discover an unexpected twist: after storing breast milk, it smells or tastes soapy, metallic, or even rancid. If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with high lipase breast milk. While it can be frustrating, the good news is that your milk is still safe and valuable for your baby. What Is High Lipase Breast Milk? Lipase is a naturally occurring enzyme in breast milk that helps break down fats, making the milk easier for your baby to digest. In some individuals, lipase activity is higher than average. This can cause stored breast milk (especially when refrigerated or frozen) to develop a distinct smell or taste after just a few hours or days. What Causes High Lipase? The exact cause isn’t fully understood, but it's believed to be simply a matter of individual body chemistry. High lipase levels don’t mean there’s something wrong with you or your milk, just that the enzyme is working very efficiently. Is It Safe to Feed Baby? Yes, breast milk with high lipase is completely safe and still highly nutritious. However, some babies may reject it due to the altered taste. If your baby refuses stored milk, there are still ways to make it work.  How to Feed Your Baby With High Lipase Milk
1. Scald Your Milk Before Storing- If your baby rejects unmodified high lipase milk, scalding may help. This process deactivates the lipase enzyme before it can change the milk's flavor.
2. Test Milk Storage Time Limits- If scalding isn’t ideal, experiment with how long your milk can be stored before the taste changes. Some high-lipase milk is fine for 24 hours or more in the fridge before becoming off-tasting. Feeding it within this window might work. 3. Mix With Fresh Milk- Some babies will take stored milk more easily if it's mixed with freshly expressed milk to dilute the altered flavor. Other Uses for High Lipase Milk If you find yourself with milk that your baby won’t drink, don’t throw it out! Here are other meaningful and creative ways to use it:
High lipase breast milk might throw a curveball into your pumping plans, but it doesn't mean the end of breastfeeding success. With a few tweaks, you can still feed your baby and make the most of every drop. Remember, your milk is amazing, even with a soapy twist. Have you dealt with high lipase milk? What worked for you? Share your story in the comments below. |
About the AuthorKelly Collins Archives
June 2026
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