 As a doula with more than a decade of experience supporting families from all walks of life, I’ve witnessed the transformative power of real, human care in birth and postpartum. And lately, I’ve been reading a lot about the rise of “AI doulas.” If you’re a pregnant woman, a parent, or someone who cares about equitable maternal care, you should think critically too. Because here’s the truth: AI doulas, no matter how smart or advanced the technology, cannot replace the support, knowledge, compassion and embodied expertise of live doulas and birth workers. And that limitation matters deeply, especially for Black and Brown women and for families in rural and underserved areas who are already struggling to access quality maternal care. The Evidence Speaks for Real Doula Support Over years of training, intuitive skill and lived experience, doulas have become an evidence-based part of maternal care. Multiple peer-reviewed studies have linked doula support, particularly continuous, human, non-clinical support, to:
What Real Doulas Bring That AI Simply Can’t When people talk about AI doulas, they usually mean chatbots or machine learning tools designed to answer questions about pregnancy, contractions, labor stages or baby care. They might offer information. They might offer checklists. They might even simulate empathy through programmed responses. But here’s what AI cannot and will never do:
The truth is that AI can't give the much-needed human response to years of infertility, a third trimester pregnancy loss, a changed birth plan that ends in an emergency csection, birth trauma, the long journey of breastfeeding or pumping, preparing to leave your baby with someone while you return to work and all of the other countless physical, emotional and mental changes that come with parenthood.  Soula — AI emotional support self‑discovery coach for women Where AI May Help and Where It Falls Short
Listen, I don’t dismiss technology outright. The modern world has come along way with technological advances. AI tools can offer resources, triage information and support access to basic guidance when no human is available. There is emerging research on AI applications in maternal health in low-resource settings that aid triage and decision support for clinical staff. But that’s not the same as replacing a doula. Those applications are clinical adjuncts, not sources of continuous physical, emotional, cultural, and advocacy support. Bridging the Gap: Companies Who are Making a Difference At the same time, we are seeing companies like Maven Clinic and Cleo step into this space, offering families access to virtual doulas, care advocates, and wellness support through technology. These platforms are often employer-sponsored benefits designed to increase access to guidance, education, and support across pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting. Through services like video consultations, messaging, and on-demand resources, virtual doulas on platforms like Maven can help with birth planning, answer questions, and provide emotional support from a distance. Cleo similarly connects families with guides and experts who offer personalized support across different stages of caregiving . And to be clear, there is value here. These tools can help bridge gaps, especially for families who might not otherwise have access to any support at all. But even as these companies expand access, what they are offering is still adjacent to, not a replacement for, the deeply relational, hands-on, culturally attuned care that in-person doulas provide. Technology can extend our reach, but it cannot replicate our presence. AI will continue to evolve. AI doulas may become more sophisticated. But they will always be tools, not replacements, for the human heart, presence, intuition and expertise that real doulas bring to birth and postpartum care. Real doulas don’t just provide information, we bear witness. We advocate. We care. We walk into the unknown with you. And in birth, that human presence matters. Want to know the real deal about AI? Watch this eye-opening video on the future of AI from a spiritual perspective.
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 The holidays are often painted as a season of light, laughter, and togetherness. But for many families, this time of year arrives carrying an ache that’s hard to put into words. An empty chair at the table. A quiet house where a child’s laughter once filled the air. A job lost, a dream deferred, a relationship changed, a body that no longer feels the same after birth or loss. Grief doesn’t take a holiday break. Many people often feel pressure (spoken or unspoken) to “be strong,” to show up for others, or to recreate joy for their families even when their own hearts feel heavy. Even I have expereinced a great deal of unexpected loss and grief this year both personally and professinally. If you’re walking through the holidays after loss, I want you to know this first and foremost: Your grief is valid. Your sadness is not a failure of faith. And joy does not mean pretending everything is okay. Grief and Joy Can Coexist One of the greatest misunderstandings about grief, especially within faith spaces, is the idea that joy replaces sorrow. But scripture tells a different story. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” —Psalm 34:18 Joy, in a biblical sense, is not forced cheerfulness or constant gratitude. It is a quiet, steady hope rooted in God’s presence with us, even in the valley. You can grieve deeply and still experience moments of joy. You can laugh one moment and cry the next. Both can live side by side. Joy may look different now. Softer. Quieter. More fleeting. And that’s okay. Naming the Losses We Carry Loss during the holidays isn’t always tied to death alone. Many families are grieving:
Grief after birth, whether after a traumatic delivery, NICU stay, infertility journey, or postpartum struggles, can feel especially isolating during a season that celebrates new life and happiness. If this is you, please know this: God sees every part of your story, including the chapters you never wanted to write. Gentle Ways to Make Space for Joy (Without Forcing It) Joy doesn’t need to be manufactured. Often, it’s received quietly when we allow ourselves grace. 1. Lower the bar. This may not be the year for elaborate traditions or full calendars. Give yourself permission to simplify. A peaceful day is enough. 2. Create new traditions. It’s okay if old traditions feel painful. Light a candle in remembrance. Write a prayer. Take a quiet walk. Invite God into something new. 3. Let yourself feel it all. Suppressing grief doesn’t protect joy, it delays healing. Tears are not a setback; they are a form of release. 4. Ask for support. Just as I remind new parents they weren’t meant to do postpartum alone, grief was never meant to be carried in isolation. Lean on trusted friends, your faith community, or a professional if needed. 5. Look for holy moments, not happy ones. Joy may show up as a deep breath, a kind word, a warm meal, or a moment of rest. These are sacred, too. A Faith Reminder for the Weary Heart “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” —Matthew 5:4 God does not rush your healing. He does not ask you to skip over grief to prove your trust in Him. He meets you in it. The incarnation we celebrate at Christmas is a reminder that God entered a broken world, not a perfect one, and chose to dwell with us in our pain. If this holiday season feels heavier than joyful, you are not alone. There is no timeline for grief. There is no right way to mourn. And there is no expiration date on love. But know that our God heals and he is waiting to do it for you, May this season hold space for your sorrow and gently invite moments of peace. May you feel God’s nearness in the quiet moments and His grace when the days feel overwhelming. And may joy, however small and however unexpected, find you exactly where you are. If you are grieving, you are seen. You are held. And you do not walk this season alone.   Giving birth is a most assuredly a transformative experience—physically, emotionally, and mentally. But one aspect that often doesn’t get enough attention is the impact childbirth can have on the pelvic floor. Whether you had a vaginal delivery or a cesarean section, your pelvic floor muscles have supported you through pregnancy and birth, and they deserve some care and attention during your postpartum recovery. Let's explore what the pelvic floor is, why it’s so crucial to your well-being after childbirth, and practical ways to strengthen it during the postpartum period. What is the Pelvic Floor? The pelvic floor is a group of muscles and connective tissues that stretch like a hammock from your pubic bone to your tailbone. These muscles support key organs including the bladder, uterus, and rectum. They also play a critical role in urinary and bowel control, sexual function, and core stability. Why is Pelvic Floor Health Important Postpartum? During pregnancy, your pelvic floor carries the increasing weight of your growing uterus. Then, during vaginal birth, these muscles stretch significantly, sometimes tearing or weakening. Even if you had a cesarean section, pregnancy alone can put strain on the pelvic floor. Common postpartum issues related to pelvic floor dysfunction include:
When Can You Start Pelvic Floor Exercises? Generally, you can begin gentle pelvic floor exercises, often called Kegels, within a few days after birth, especially if you feel ready and comfortable. However, every birth is different, so it’s essential to:
 How to Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Postpartum
Here are simple, safe ways to start restoring your pelvic floor health after birth: 1. Kegels- These are small but powerful contractions that help rebuild strength and endurance in your pelvic floor.
2. Pelvic Tilts- Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat. Gently tilt your pelvis so your lower back presses into the floor, then release. This helps engage your deep abdominal muscles along with the pelvic floor. 3. Diaphragmatic Breathing- Deep breathing helps reduce intra-abdominal pressure and allows the pelvic floor to move naturally.
4. See a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist- If you’re dealing with discomfort, incontinence, or just want expert support, a pelvic floor PT can create a personalized plan to help you recover safely and effectively. Pelvic floor recovery isn’t a race. Healing takes time, and every body is different. Rest, hydration, and gentle movement are all part of the equation. And remember: asking for help, whether from your OBGYN, a physical therapist, or a postpartum coach, is a sign of strength, not weakness. Caring for your pelvic floor after childbirth is one of the best investments you can make in your long-term health and quality of life. Whether you’re newly postpartum or a few years into parenthood, it’s never too late to start. Strong doesn’t mean “bouncing back”, it means building back better, with awareness, support, and self-compassion. Got questions? Contact me for resources and recommendations for local pelvic floor therapists.  Becoming a parent is often described as one of life’s most joyful experiences. But what many new parents don’t expect is that joy can coexist with anxiety, sadness, irritability, or even despair. For many new parents, the flood of hormones, sleep deprivation, and life changes can bring on an abundance of feelings. These early emotions are often referred to as the "baby blues", and they affect up to 80% of new mothers. Thankfully, baby blues usually fade within two weeks. But what happens when those feelings don’t go away or they get worse? If you’re experiencing lingering or intense emotional distress after having a baby, you may be dealing with a Perinatal Mental Health Disorder (PMHD). PMHDs are the most common complications of childbirth, affecting up to 1 in 5 new moms and 1 in 10 new dads. Let's explore what Perinatal Mental Health Disorders (PMHDs) are, how to spot the warning signs, who is at higher risk, and—most importantly—where to get support. What are PMHDs?
PMHDs (Perinatal Mental Health Disorders) include a range of mental health conditions that can occur during pregnancy and up to a year postpartum. They include:
Who is at risk for PMHDs? PMHDs can affect anyone, regardless of background. However, certain factors can increase vulnerability:
Some sobering statistics:
Warning Signs to Watch For It's normal to feel emotionally sensitive or tearful in the days following birth. This is often referred to as the “baby blues” and typically resolves within 1–2 weeks. But when symptoms persist or intensify, it could be a sign of a PMHD. Here are some signs that what you're feeling might be more than just baby blues: Emotional Symptoms:
Physical and Behavioral Symptoms:
If these symptoms last more than two weeks after birth, interfere with your daily functioning, or feel like they’re getting worse, it’s time to seek help. What to Do Next: Steps Toward Healing Please know that you are not weak and you are not alone if you are experiencing signs of a perinatal mental health disorder. Here's what you can do to seek help: 1. Talk to your healthcare provider- Let your OB/GYN, midwife, or primary care doctor know how you're feeling. They can screen you for PMHDs and connect you with mental health professionals. 2. Reach out to a therapist- Look for a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health. Many offer telehealth appointments, which can be especially helpful with a newborn. 3. Connect with support groups- Sometimes, talking to other parents who have been there can be incredibly healing. Peer support groups can reduce isolation and offer real-world advice. 4. Involve your partner or support system- Let those close to you know what you’re experiencing. They may be able to help with baby care, offer emotional support, or attend appointments with you. 5. Emergency support- If you're having thoughts of self-harm or harming your baby, seek emergency help immediately by calling emergency services or going to the nearest ER. Resources for Support Here are some trusted organizations offering help:
If you’re struggling right now, please know: this is not your fault. PMHDs can affect anyone, and with help, they do get better. You deserve support, healing, and peace during this chapter of parenthood. Take the first step. Help is waiting. To learn more about PMHDs and the fourth trimester, sign up for my Postpartum Recovery Class.  When planning for a new baby, most parents spend a great deal of time preparing for birth—taking classes, reading books, packing hospital bags. But one crucial period often gets overlooked in all the excitement: the postpartum phase. This is where a postpartum plan becomes not just helpful, but essential.
What Is a Postpartum Plan? A postpartum plan is a written or mental guide that outlines how you and your support system will manage life after the baby arrives. It focuses on your recovery, newborn care, mental and emotional well-being, division of household responsibilities, and support resources. Unlike a birth plan, which centers around a single event, a postpartum plan anticipates weeks or months of adjustment and change. Why a Postpartum Plan Matters 1. Supports Physical Recovery- The physical toll of childbirth—whether vaginal or cesarean—requires time, rest, and care. A postpartum plan helps make sure meals are prepared, housework is managed, and mom has time to rest. It can include arrangements for meal trains, visitors, and chore delegation to ensure recovery is prioritized. 2. Helps Manage Emotional Health- Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and new responsibilities can lead to mood swings, anxiety, and postpartum depression. A plan can outline signs to watch for and include contact information for mental health professionals. Knowing there’s a proactive strategy in place gives parents peace of mind. 3. Prepares for Newborn Care- Caring for a newborn is both joyful and demanding. A postpartum plan can include who will handle nighttime feedings, how feeding will be managed (breastfeeding, pumping, formula), and what to do if complications arise. Having clarity helps reduce confusion and overwhelm. 4. Clarifies Roles and Responsibilities- Tension can build quickly if expectations aren’t discussed beforehand. A postpartum plan allows partners to openly discuss who will do what—whether it's diaper changes, sibling care, grocery shopping, or emotional support. Clear communication upfront prevents resentment later. 5. Builds a Stronger Support Network- Knowing who you can count on and when is key. A postpartum plan can include a list of people to call for help—family, friends, doulas, lactation consultants, or postpartum therapists. It ensures you're not scrambling to find support when you need it most. 6. Encourages Realistic Expectations- Parenting isn't always intuitive, and the early days can be unpredictable. A plan helps parents set realistic expectations about sleep, feeding, bonding, and recovery. It fosters flexibility and grace for the learning curve ahead. Key Components of a Postpartum Plan Here are some common areas to cover in your plan:
The postpartum period is a time of profound transformation—physically, emotionally, and relationally. Just as we wouldn’t approach birth without a plan, we shouldn’t approach postpartum without one either. Taking the time to craft a postpartum plan empowers families to face the challenges ahead with confidence, compassion, and a solid support system. Whether you’re a first-time parent or adding another child to your family, creating a postpartum plan is a powerful step toward a healthier, more supported transition into parenthood. |
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May 2026
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