As the holidays approach, many of us feel the excitement of family gatherings, the joy of giving, and the peace of rest. Yet for some in the Triangle area community, particularly those who are undocumented, unhoused, or facing food insecurity, the season may be bringing deep stress, uncertainty, and loneliness. This year, let’s expand what “giving back” means. Let’s lean into compassion, solidarity, and justice. Even small actions can help make our community safer, more welcoming, and more resilient.

Below is a guide to meaningful ways to support your neighbors during the holidays, especially those who might otherwise be vulnerable to ICE detention, homelessness, or lack of reliable food.

Supporting Immigrant and Undocumented Neighbors
a) Align with Local Advocacy Groups

• Siembra NC/Somos Siembra: Siembra NC is a grassroots organization in the Triangle (and across North Carolina) that organizes around immigrant rights, worker justice, and protections from ICE. 
  • You can volunteer with them. For example, participating in their “ICE Watch” program, which helps train community members to act as verifiers and support their neighbors.
  • Donate: They have a solidarity fund to support families impacted by ICE detention.
  • Organize with them: You can help canvass, host know-your-rights trainings, or support their leadership-building.
    

b) Contribute to Emergency Legal Funds

• NC Immigrant Solidarity Fund (ISF): Through CWS Durham, this fund provides cash grants to immigrants (regardless of status) to help with rent, utilities, and emergencies, especially when other safety nets are unavailable.
• Volunteer for legal accompaniment: CWS Durham provides immigration legal services and relies on community support and volunteers to help families navigate complex systems.

c) Promote Community Safety & Awareness

• Work with local groups to advocate for “safe zones” or places where community members check in on rights, especially around ICE operations.
• Share accurate, multilingual resources about what people can do if stopped by ICE or what legal rights they have. Siembra offers hotlines, trainings, and education.
• Purchase whistles to give to friends and neighbors to help notify anyone nearby of ICE activity.
• Important community safety information for North Carolina:
  If you see ICE activity, or you or someone you know needs support, contact:
  
  📞 El Pueblo NC: 919-835-1525
  📞 NC Justice Center – Immigrant Rights Project: 919-856-2570
  📎 FaithAction ID Network
  📎 American Immigration Lawyers Association–NC Local Agency Contacts
  
  Report ICE activity immediately to:
  🚨 United We Dream Hotline: 1-844-363-1423
  🚨 ICE Watch NC (local reporting network)
  

Helping Those Without Stable Housing
a) Support Local Homelessness Nonprofits

• CASA (Community Alternatives for Supportive Abodes): CASA provides affordable housing and supportive services for individuals and families in the Triangle.
  • Donate: Consider giving monthly (CASA Champions) for long-term impact.
  • Give in-kind: CASA accepts “Welcome Home” baskets (with toiletries, cleaning supplies, towels) and birthday kits for its residents.
  • Host a fundraiser: CASA supports peer-to-peer giving for birthdays, community events and small-scale fundraisers.
• Healing Transitions: This organization serves people experiencing homelessness who also have substance use or recovery needs.
  • Volunteer: Their “village” model involves volunteers in many roles such as mentoring, meal service, employment programming.
  • Donate: Clothing (especially warm items), hygiene kits, and personal items are always in demand. As some volunteers and community members have noted, they accept drop-offs for men’s and women’s campuses.
  • Raise awareness: Tell others about Healing Transitions’ work; share its mission and the need for support during the holidays.
  • Women's Shelter

b) Share Your Time and Talents

• Use Activate Good, a local volunteer-matching platform, to find homelessness-related service opportunities.
• Engage with Volunteer Raleigh, which connects volunteers to city-funded agencies and nonprofits that support housing and crisis services.
• Offer skilled labor for home repairs: Rebuilding Together of the Triangle helps low-income homeowners (often elderly or vulnerable) maintain safe, healthy homes.

Addressing Food Insecurity in the Triangle
a) Volunteer with Hunger-Relief Organizations

• Inter-Faith Food Shuttle: One of the most effective local anti-hunger groups, Inter-Faith Food Shuttle operate mobile markets, community pantries, and programs like BackPack Buddies (meals for children).
  • Host a food or fund drive: Set up a virtual or physical drive. The Food Shuttle facilitates donation pages and pick-ups.
  • Volunteer: At their warehouse, mobile market, or community pantry sites.
• Catholic Charities–Durham Community Food Pantry: In partnership with the Food Shuttle, they distribute food weekly and via mobile markets.
  • Contribute: Donate nonperishables, produce, or funds.
  • Volunteer: Help bag, pack, or distribute food on the pantry schedule.

b) Support “Pay-What-You-Can” Community Meals

• A Place at the Table (Raleigh): A community café where people pay what they can, volunteer for meals, or purchase "meal tokens" to give others.
  • Volunteer for shifts (morning or early afternoon) or purchase tokens to give to someone in need.
  • Encourage local groups (friends, church, workplaces) to host holiday meal times there or fundraise for meal tokens.

c) Adopt a Family

• To adopt a family for the holidays in NC, you can contact local organizations like HopeMatch, The Salvation Army, or A Doorway to Hope to get matched with a family. These programs typically connect you with a family profile and a list of needs, such as specific gifts, clothing, or grocery gift cards, for you to fulfill before a set deadline. You may also choose to sponsor a local family you know by buying them groceries, sharing a meal or purchasing Christmas gifts for the children. 

d) Raise Awareness About Food Access

• Share resource guides like the Food Shuttle’s “Find Food” map so neighbors know where to go.
• During the holidays, remind family and friends that food insecurity increases, encourage them to give to local pantries like Food Bank of Central and Eastern NC, Urban Ministries, Food Shuttle, North Raleigh Ministries and the Raleigh and Durham Rescue Mission as well as national campaigns like Find a Grocery Buddy.

 Building Long-Term Solidarity: Beyond the Holidays 

• Advocate for policy change: Support local efforts to protect immigrant rights, housing equity, and anti-hunger policies. Civic engagement (writing to your city council, attending meetings) can plant seeds for systemic change.
• Foster community relationships: Build friendships across lines of difference. Invite neighbors (including those who may feel marginalized) into your holiday gatherings or volunteer activities.
• Educate and mobilize: Host a “Know Your Rights” workshop, partner with groups like Siembra NC, or facilitate a donation drive in your workplace or neighborhood.
• Sustain your involvement: Consider making your holiday giving the beginning of a year-round commitment monthly through volunteer hours, recurring donations, or serving on a nonprofit board.

This holiday season, giving back doesn’t have to look like expensive gifts or grand gestures. Sometimes the most profound impact comes from being present, offering time, empathy, and solidarity to neighbors who face real risk, instability, or hunger. Whether you help accompany someone to a court hearing, donate meals, or volunteer to sort food boxes, your actions reverberate: they affirm dignity, build trust, and strengthen our shared community.

Let us remember: the holidays are not just about receiving. they’re an invitation to serve. Let’s lean in and come together. Your time, support and compassion can be a gift that changes lives.

​Parenthood is a rollercoaster—equal parts joy, terror, and mystery odors. Some days you're crushing it and other days you're barely hanging on and giving it just enough to keep everybody alive. The truth? Raising kids is weird, messy, loud... and absolutely hilarious. If you know where to look (hint: everywhere), the humor in parenthood is not only real, it's what will keep you sane.

1. The Comedy is in the Chaos
The toddler tantrum over the “wrong” color cup. The six-year-old logic that explains how underwear is optional at school. The teen who’s suddenly embarrassed by the way you breathe. These moments are comedy gold—eventually. Maybe not in the moment, but give it time. Or a group text with your best parent friends.
​
Need reassurance?
Check out “Sh*t My Dad Says” by Justin Halpern, which began as a Twitter account and evolved into a hilarious memoir of growing up with a brutally honest (and unintentionally funny) father. It’s a reminder that even the most off-the-wall parenting moments make for the best stories later.

2. Lower the Bar (And Your Expectations)
Perfection is a trap. Let go of the Pinterest-worthy bento boxes and embrace the chicken nuggets. Your child will survive mismatched socks and cereal for dinner. The real parenting wins are surviving Target with toddlers or managing to drink your coffee before it gets cold.
For a perfect dose of reality, “Toddlers Are Aholes: It’s Not Your Fault” by Bunmi Laditan delivers a painfully accurate (and funny) look at life with tiny, irrational dictators. She reminds us all that it’s okay to laugh at the absurdity of parenting life—because that’s what it is: absurd.

3. Kids Say the Darndest (And Most Terrifying) Things
Children are unfiltered little truth bombs with a gift for mortifying their parents in public. Their questions, observations, and bedtime stall tactics are often unintentionally hilarious.

Take comfort in “I Heart My Little A-Holes” by Karen Alpert, a laugh-out-loud collection of parenting mishaps, awkward moments, and brutally honest truths. Alpert’s self-deprecating style gives all parents permission to laugh at themselves—and their offspring.

4. Celebrate the Small Wins
Did you remember picture day? Amazing. Got your child to eat something green? You’re a wizard. Laughed at a poop joke? Welcome to the club. Parenthood is built on these small victories and the ability to find joy (or at least sarcasm) in them.

For inspiration, revisit “Go the Fk to Sleep” by Adam Mansbach, the picture book for grown-ups that perfectly captures the bedtime battle—and your inner monologue. Bonus: there’s a version read by Samuel L. Jackson that deserves a spot in the Parenting Hall of Fame.
​
5. Share the Struggle
Some of the funniest parenting moments come from swapping stories with other sleep-deprived grown-ups. Community is key. Whether it's a mom group, a dad podcast, or a 2 a.m. Reddit thread titled "Is this rash normal?", laughter connects us.

Don’t miss “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids” by Jancee Dunn, which tackles the relationship side of parenting with humor, honesty, and actionable advice for keeping your sense of humor—and your marriage—alive through the trenches.

Parenting isn’t a sitcom, but it sure has the material for one. So the next time your kid draws a mustache on the cat or announces loudly in public that “Mommy tooted,” take a breath and laugh. These are the moments you will retell at their graduation party... or wedding... or to their therapist. After all, if we can't laugh at parenting, we’ll probably just cry into that day-old coffee. And that’s just no fun.

Welcome to the wild, beautiful, and sometimes bewildering world of parenthood. That first year after your baby arrives? It’s a whirlwind. You will survive off of cat naps and cold coffee. You won't see or talk to your friends for months at a time. The words "clean up" will mean something completely different after a few weeks. You will think about things you have never thought of before like death from lack of sleep or cracked nipples. You will do things like dance to Prince at 2 a.m. just to get your baby to stop crying. And sometimes you will wonder what you were thinking when you wanted to have a baby. But the first year is also equal parts joy, exhaustion, and recalibration of your entire life. 

You’ll hear advice from every direction, but there are some truths you don’t hear enough about. So let me tell you the real deal about what to expect, how to survive, and maybe even thrive during that unforgettable (and often unforgiving) first year.
​
1. Just Like Marriage, the First Year Is the Hardest
Bringing a baby home is a dream come true… and also a shock to the system. You're navigating sleepless nights, diaper blowouts, feeding schedules, and a brand-new identity as “Mom” or “Dad.” It’s not uncommon for couples to experience tension during this time. You’re both stretched thin. Be patient with each other. Communicate often. Laugh when you can. And remember: this is a season — not forever.

2. You and Your Partner Will Have Different Parenting Styles
One of you may be laid-back. The other may Google every symptom at 2 a.m. You might handle crying with cuddles, and your partner with rocking and pacifiers. Different isn’t wrong, it’s just different. Work together to find a middle ground. Respect and trust each other. Your baby will benefit from seeing both of you show up with love, even in your own unique ways.

3. Children Change Everything, Including Your Marriage
Your life as a couple takes a backseat to bottles, burp cloths, and baby giggles. The freedom you once had to plan spontaneous date nights? Gone (for now). But with intentional effort, your marriage can not only survive, it can grow. Let your partner know you still see them. Prioritize time to connect, even if it’s just a hug in the kitchen or a whispered “I love you” over a mountain of laundry.

4. Intimacy Is a Lifeline, Not a Luxury
We’re not just talking about sex—although that, too, when you're ready. Intimacy in the first year is about touch, emotional closeness, and feeling like a team. Don't let exhaustion steal that bond. Find your rhythm again. Sometimes, intimacy looks like holding hands while watching baby sleep. Other times, it’s a heartfelt conversation after midnight feedings. Keep choosing each other.

5. Relationships Will Change (Be Prepared to Lose Some)
It’s painful, but true. Not everyone will stick around once you enter parenthood. Some friends won’t understand why you can’t text back or why you keep canceling plans. Some family members might not support your choices. Let them go with grace. The ones who matter will show up. And you’ll find new connections — in playgroups, in your neighborhood, even online — with people who get it.

6. Go Out — Even If It’s With the Baby
Yes, it’s a hassle to pack the diaper bag, time feedings, and navigate the world with a baby in tow. Do it anyway. Fresh air and a change of scenery are crucial for your mental health. Grab coffee. Take a walk. Go to the bookstore. Even a trip to the grocery store can feel like a mini vacation in those early months.

7. Time Management Will Be Redefined
Forget the old to-do lists. Success now looks like everyone got dressed today or you remembered to eat lunch before 3 p.m. Time becomes elastic and weird. You’ll become a master multitasker—answering emails while rocking a baby, folding laundry during naps, and scheduling showers like military operations. Flexibility is your new superpower.

8. Know the Signs of Mental Health Distress
Postpartum depression and anxiety are real. They don’t make you a bad parent. They make you human. If you're crying more than usual, feeling numb, irritable, or disconnected, don’t brush it off. Talk to your doctor. Reach out to a friend. Therapy and support groups can be life-changing. You deserve to feel like you again.

9. Always Have a Camera Nearby
These moments—the sleepy smiles, the first laugh, the way your baby wraps their hand around your finger — they go by fast. Capture them. Even the messy, imperfect ones. You’ll be so glad you did when you're looking back, wondering how they grew up so quickly.

10. Don’t Stress Over Developmental Milestones
Every baby is on their own timeline. Some crawl at six months, others not until ten. Some sleep through the night early, others don’t until toddlerhood. Comparison steals joy. Trust your instincts and your pediatrician — not Instagram.

11. Your New Normal: Work-Life Balance, Redefined
Returning to work? Staying at home? Building a side hustle during naps? However your days are structured, balance isn’t about equal time, it’s about presence. When you’re with your baby, be with them. When you’re working, give yourself permission to focus. You won’t always get it right. That’s okay. You’re learning. And that, in itself, is parenting.

The first year of parenting is a masterclass in growth—for you, your partner, and your baby. It’s messy. It’s beautiful. And it’s okay if it doesn’t look picture-perfect. Breathe. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate the small wins. And remember: you’re not alone.

​Becoming a parent is often described as one of life’s most joyful experiences. But what many new parents don’t expect is that joy can coexist with anxiety, sadness, irritability, or even despair. For many new parents, the flood of hormones, sleep deprivation, and life changes can bring on an abundance of feelings. These early emotions are often referred to as the "baby blues", and they affect up to 80% of new mothers. Thankfully, baby blues usually fade within two weeks.

But what happens when those feelings don’t go away or they get worse?

If you’re experiencing lingering or intense emotional distress after having a baby, you may be dealing with a Perinatal Mental Health Disorder (PMHD). PMHDs are the most common complications of childbirth, affecting up to 1 in 5 new moms and 1 in 10 new dads.

Let's explore what Perinatal Mental Health Disorders (PMHDs) are, how to spot the warning signs, who is at higher risk, and—most importantly—where to get support.

What are PMHDs?
​PMHDs (Perinatal Mental Health Disorders) include a range of mental health conditions that can occur during pregnancy and up to a year postpartum. They include:

• Postpartum Depression (PPD)
• Postpartum Anxiety
• Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
• Postpartum Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
• Postpartum Bipolar Disorder
• Postpartum Psychosis (rare, but serious)

These are medical conditions, not personal failures. These conditions are more common than many realize and can affect all parents—birthing and non-birthing. But they are treatable, and support is available.

Who is at risk for PMHDs?​
PMHDs can affect anyone, regardless of background. However, certain factors can increase vulnerability:

• History of mental health issues (depression, anxiety, etc.)
• Lack of social support
• Traumatic birth experience
• Complications during pregnancy or delivery
• Stressful life events (e.g., financial strain, relationship conflict)
• Sleep deprivation
• Previous PMHDs with earlier children

Some sobering statistics:

• Up to 1 in 5 women experience a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder.
• About 1 in 10 partners (non-birthing parents) will also experience postpartum depression.
• Postpartum psychosis, a rare but severe disorder, occurs in 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 deliveries.

These numbers remind us that PMHDs are common and treatable.

Warning Signs to Watch For
It's normal to feel emotionally sensitive or tearful in the days following birth. This is often referred to as the “baby blues” and typically resolves within 1–2 weeks. But when symptoms persist or intensify, it could be a sign of a PMHD. Here are some signs that what you're feeling might be more than just baby blues:
Emotional Symptoms:

• Feeling persistently sad, hopeless, or empty
• Excessive worry or panic, especially about the baby
• Intense irritability or anger
• Feeling detached from your baby or like you're not bonding
• Guilt or shame about how you're feeling
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Physical and Behavioral Symptoms:

• Difficulty sleeping (even when the baby sleeps)
• Changes in appetite
• Fatigue that feels overwhelming
• Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy
• Racing thoughts or inability to relax
• Withdrawing from loved ones

If these symptoms last more than two weeks after birth, interfere with your daily functioning, or feel like they’re getting worse, it’s time to seek help.

What to Do Next: Steps Toward Healing
​Please know that you are not weak and you are not alone if you are experiencing signs of a perinatal mental health disorder. Here's what you can do to seek help:
1. Talk to your healthcare provider- Let your OB/GYN, midwife, or primary care doctor know how you're feeling. They can screen you for PMHDs and connect you with mental health professionals.
2. Reach out to a therapist- Look for a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health. Many offer telehealth appointments, which can be especially helpful with a newborn.
3. Connect with support groups- Sometimes, talking to other parents who have been there can be incredibly healing. Peer support groups can reduce isolation and offer real-world advice.
4. Involve your partner or support system- Let those close to you know what you’re experiencing. They may be able to help with baby care, offer emotional support, or attend appointments with you. 
5. Emergency support- If you're having thoughts of self-harm or harming your baby, seek emergency help immediately by calling emergency services or going to the nearest ER.

Resources for Support
Here are some trusted organizations offering help:

• Postpartum Support International (PSI)
  Call or text the PSI HelpLine: 1-800-944-4773 (EN) or 1-971-203-7773 (Text)
• National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
  1-833-9-HELP4MOMS (1-833-943-5746)
  Free, 24/7 support in English and Spanish
• Therapy for Black Girls
  Mental health support for Black women and girls
• The Blue Dot Project
  Awareness and community around maternal mental health
• Your Insurance Provider’s Directory
  Many plans now cover perinatal mental health services. Check their mental health or behavioral health listings.

If you’re struggling right now, please know: this is not your fault. PMHDs can affect anyone, and with help, they do get better. You deserve support, healing, and peace during this chapter of parenthood. Take the first step. Help is waiting.

To learn more about PMHDs and the fourth trimester, sign up for my Postpartum Recovery Class.

​Bringing a new baby into your home is an exciting, emotional, and often overwhelming experience—not just for you, but for your pets, too. Your furry family members can sense change, and a newborn’s arrival brings new smells, sounds, and routines that can unsettle even the most well-behaved dog or curious cat. Preparing ahead of time can ease the transition for everyone and help foster a loving bond between your baby and your pets. Here’s how to prepare your pets for the arrival of your newborn, and what to expect when you finally bring your little one home.

1. Start Preparing Early- As soon as you know a baby is on the way, begin gradually introducing changes to your pet’s environment and routine. Sudden shifts can create anxiety, so it’s better to spread them out over weeks or months.

• Adjust their schedule: If your pet is used to eating or walking at certain times, try shifting those times slightly to match your expected baby routine. This prevents pets from associating sudden changes with the baby.
• Introduce new boundaries: If your pet won’t be allowed in certain rooms (like the nursery), start enforcing those rules now. Use baby gates or closed doors to establish new limits.
• Practice new behaviors: Train your pets on commands like “leave it,” “go to your bed,” or “gentle.” These will come in handy once baby is home.

2. Get Them Used to Baby Sights and Sounds- To prevent sensory overload, gradually desensitize your pet to the sounds and smells that come with a baby.

• Play baby sounds: Use recordings of crying, cooing, and babbling at increasing volumes during calm moments. Reward your pet for remaining relaxed.
• Introduce baby gear: Set up swings, strollers, and cribs early. Let your pet explore these new objects so they become part of the normal environment.
• Use baby lotion or powder: Let your pet sniff baby-related products you plan to use, so the scent isn’t foreign later.

3. Reinforce Positive Associations- Make every baby-related change a positive one. This helps your pet form good associations with the new arrival.

• Give treats or affection whenever your pet calmly interacts with baby items or obeys new rules.
• Never punish or scold your pet around the baby’s belongings. Instead, redirect and reward desired behavior.

4. Plan for the First Meeting- When you bring baby home, your pet will need time to adjust — but your calm leadership can help set the tone.

• Have someone exercise your pet beforehand. A tired pet is a calmer pet.
• Enter calmly and confidently. Greet your pet before introducing the baby.
• Allow sniffing, with supervision. Let your pet investigate the baby from a safe distance. Praise calm curiosity.
• Avoid forcing interaction. Let your pet come to the baby at their own pace, and always supervise closely.

5. Keep Routines As Consistent As Possible- With all the changes that come with a newborn, your pet may feel left out or anxious. Do your best to maintain familiar routines.

• Stick to regular feeding and walk times.
• Carve out a few minutes of one-on-one time each day for cuddles, play, or training.
• Use interactive toys or puzzle feeders to keep your pet mentally engaged while you're busy with baby.

What to Expect After Baby Comes Home- Every pet reacts differently, but here are some common behaviors you might see — and how to handle them:

• Curiosity: Sniffing, watching, or following the baby around is normal. Supervise and reward gentle behavior.
• Anxiety or withdrawal: Some pets may seem aloof or nervous. Be patient and give them space and attention on their terms.
• Attention-seeking behaviors: Excessive barking, whining, or mischief can signal your pet is feeling neglected. Reinforce good behavior and avoid unintentionally rewarding the bad.
• Protectiveness: Occasionally, a pet may become overly protective of the baby. While this may seem sweet, it’s important to set boundaries and ensure all interactions are safe and balanced.

Your pet doesn’t know a baby is coming, they just know something big is changing. With preparation, patience, and empathy, you can help them transition smoothly and even grow to love their new little family member. Over time, your pet and your baby may form a bond that’s as heartwarming as it is lifelong.

Have you recently introduced your pet to a newborn? Share your experience or tips in the comments below!