When I was younger, I would have never imagined the world we live in today. I'm an 80s baby which means my grandparents lived through and survived the Civil Rights Movement. When I was born, car seats weren't the law because the concept was so new. My parents worked just so I could go to college. I am a part of a generation who has seen the most change and will likely see the most change in such a short period of time. For me, college was a dream realized by my entire family. I initially wanted to leave my mark as an educator. But things did not turn out that way (4 1/2 years, 129 credits and no Bachelor's degree). I am a highly educated wife and mother who changed courses due to my ever changing political and economic environment. I am now an entrepreneur who serves families in various capacities as a doula because I could no longer rely on my government and elected officials to make sure I have a future and legacy, let alone my son. We live in a time where voting isn't enough anymore. Being a candidate that thinks outside the box and has the people's best interest at heart is how you make a real change (just ask my husband).
I've never considered myself "woke" per say, but I am very conscious and highly aware of the state of America. Over the last several years I feel like I have been forced to uplift, parade and even boast about my blackness due to 45 and his racist agenda. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud to be black. I love my skin, hair and every feature I have that was passed down my bloodline. But I'm not going to lie, it is exhausting. Even around my counterparts sometimes. The way I think now at almost 35 years old is totally different from the way I saw things at 25. Again, many things have contributed to this such as my experiences, hardships, education, marriage, motherhood, relationships and spirituality.
Changing your mindset is a choice. Simple as that. A choice about control. First, ask yourself these questions and take some time to explore the answers.
- Do you understand that you can't control everything?
- Are you going let the things you can't control stop you from going after the things you can control?
- Who are you and who do you want to be?
- Do you trust yourself, your purpose and your journey?
It took me a long time to get out of my own way. I had to let fear and doubt go because I've realized that my brain and my spirit don't have room for it. Those two things crushed all of my creativity and hindered my thought process. I have embraced the phrases "Connection over Perfection" and "Failing Forward" because the flaws and failures are all apart of the learning process. I have spent the majority of my life worrying about things that never came to pass. And I've learned that the things that did happen were supposed to happen. Worrying only increases the perceived negativity within and consumes your mind. There is literally no room left to think about your future and life you want outside of your current situation and circumstances. So it doesn't happen. Because you are stuck. How can you be your true and highest self if you are afraid? More importantly, how can you accept others as their true self if you haven't identified and accepted your own true self?
Just look at the way we as humans have evolved. The bloodlines across the world are intertwined in a way our ancestors never believed, but just as the heavens intended. Yes, we are more divided and less tolerant, accepting and forgiving as I stated before, but how can that be? Why are we still at odds over skin color, hairstyles and what religion our neighbor practices when we are the most intelligent and highest beings of all of God's creations? The most creative and innovative minds have led us this far. But what if we all had room to be ourselves and truly walk in our purpose with no judgement? How far could we advance if we did that?
If God made each and every one of us in Him image, then we are all walking reflections of Him. That means me. That means you. That means your brother and cousin too (name that song lol). That means your child's transgender teacher. That means your Jewish coworker. That means your Muslim bus driver and your African bank teller. And don't forget Beyonce', Billy Porter, Laverne Cox, Titus Burgess and Lizzo! We are so much more than what we look like. Our souls are aching to breech the surface of our skin and give the world what it truly needs: our true authentic selves. But we must get passed what we see and perceive. We must declutter our brains of assumptions and lies. We must look deeper. And it starts with changing our mindset.
You set us apart as the brightest, clearest mirror of God.
Kimberly Chante, Fearfully & Wonderfully Made