This blog was originally posted on my Mom blog on October 29, 2013.

I have been felt up a lot in the last few days. And for good reason. Nearly a week ago I noticed something that didn’t feel right in my left breast. It didn’t feel like a lump, but I was in a lot of pain. I immediately went to my husband and he felt it too. He told me not to panic and to call my doctor the next day. I called my doctor (who was also my surgeon) and made an appointment for the following day.

After seeing her (and her baby bump-yay!), she said it was probably a small cyst. She indicated that it was more than likely brought on by the caffeine in the coffee I have had in recent weeks. But she requested that I see a radiologist and have a mammogram and ultrasound done just to be sure.

I went to my radiology appointment this afternoon. And up until the appointment, I had already had a hell of a day. My son was having a rough day at school. I finally received an email about a potential job that I had been waiting on, but it wasn’t good news. And of course, my wisdom teeth are bothering me so I couldn’t eat today. I couldn’t even enjoy all of the quiet at work today because my mind was in so many places. But 2:30 came faster than I anticipated. I left work to head to my appointment, but I made one stop to my husband’s job/PAC Man’s school to get a hug and a kiss first.

I arrived at the office earlier than I thought I would. The woman at the front desk was very nice and the paperwork was a breeze. I waited about 15 minutes and then I was taken back to the ultrasound room where the technician asked me how I was doing, and gave me a beautiful pink pen in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. She told me not to worry and to let her know when I was done changing my clothes. After she came back into the room, she proceeded to tell me what she was going to do and after she took some pictures the doctor would be in to see me and decide if I needed to have a mammogram. The gel she put on my chest was not just warm, it was kind of hot. And there was a space heater in the room! You never see that in a doctor’s office. A few minutes later she told me everything looked good and then she went to get the doctor. As I laid there on the table, I thought about how many times I have “checked” myself since having PAC Man 2 1/2 years ago. I couldn’t think of one single time. Even though I nursed him for nine months, I still don’t think I gave myself an exam. I’m not that busy, am I?!

The doctor came in and reassured me that my ultrasound photos looked good. He even said that the cyst was already seeming to go away on its own. The ultrasound technician waited for me outside my door while I got dressed and walked me to the waiting area. She gave me a hug and told me to enjoy the rest of my day. If she only knew…

I was glad to know that there wasn’t anything seriously wrong. But I was a bit upset with myself for not doing everything I need to do to keep myself healthy. It also crossed my mind that I was able to go to the doctor today and not pay one penny. There are many people that can’t and they are in fact sick. Today I was reminded of a few things: 1) Things happen every day that are beyond our control, 2) don’t let those things take away from the things you can control and be happy about and 3) take the proper time to take care of yourself.

Ladies, please take the time to give yourself a breast exam. It could save your life. Think Pink!

​This is Amy-Leigh. Amy-Leigh and I met recently through a mutual friend of ours and after hearing her story, I wanted to share it with you. PCOS or Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a health problem that affects one in 10 women of childbearing age. Women with PCOS have a hormonal imbalance and metabolism problems that may affect their overall health and appearance. PCOS is also a common and treatable cause of infertility. If you are suffering from PCOS, I hope that Amy-Leigh's story helps you.
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My name is Amy-Leigh and I’m a thirty year old Trinidadian fitness junkie, healthy foodie, advertising executive, part time photographer, blogger and manager of my hormone imbalance.

My hormone journey began in mid-2011 when I decided to come off birth control. That decision changed my life forever. Even though at the time it up heaved my entire existence, in hindsight it was the best choice I ever made for myself and my life.

My life changed about three months post pill. It started with one cystic pimple and then what seemed like the blink of an eye, my face was covered in painful cystic acne. This somewhat overnight transformation of my once clear skin left me shocked, confused but more so embarrassed. As a teenager I suffered with mild stress acne but once I left high school my skin cleared up quickly. At twenty-five I felt like I had gone back in time and the confident, independent woman that I had become was gone and replaced with an awkward, shy teen who was afraid to go out or look people in the eye for fear that I’d see them staring at my scarred face. Client meetings at work especially caused me serious anxiety.

Acne however was only the beginning. I noticed shortly after that my breast discharged a milk-like fluid when squeezed, I broke out in hives almost every day, I had night sweats, hot flashes, adrenal fatigue and to this day I have painful ovulation. The medical term for it is Mittelscherz and this pain varies from month to month. Sometimes it’s bearable and lasts only a few hours while other times it can last up to twelve hours and is so excruciating that I can barely walk. The silver lining in this however is that now I can always tell the exact date my period will start (which helps a lot when you live on an island and need to plan beach trips).

Needless to say, when all of the above started happening, I made a gynecologist appointment immediately. This first visit to the gynecologist was horrendous and I still get angry when I think about it. Having never done a pap-smear, I decided to kill two birds with one stone i.e. get the procedure done and ask for advice on what he thought (it was a male doctor) was happening to my body. After exhaustingly explaining in detail about all the drastic changes my body had gone through post pill, his only advice was to go back on the pill and try to sell me on taking a different type of birth control. I was adamant that I never wanted to be on birth control again and again all he told me was about the low dose hormone birth control pills that he had. I was livid and left there emotionally dejected and drained.

After confiding to a female coworker about my awful gynecologist visit, she recommended I visit hers. Her gynecologist was female and one of the best in the country. I quickly made an appointment with her but I had to wait three months because she was that in demand. In the meantime, I made my first dermatologist visit. I had always known that my acne was an internal issue so I never frankly thought about going to a dermatologist, but with three months on my hand and my skin not getting any better I figured why not. This skin doctor was quite pleasant and while he did advise also about going back on birth control, he also prescribed vitamin A capsules and the antibiotic, doxycycline. I must say that doxycycline did help to calm my skin flare ups for a little while and I was glad that I made this visit. Of course, with most antibiotic treatments, you can’t stay on them for very long and most times your body becomes resistant to the drugs, which was what happened in my case.

My breakouts started shortly after my last doxycycline prescription ended but thankfully it was time for my other gynecologist visit. This one went a lot better as the female gynecologist was more kind and understanding and after the results came back from my ultrasound she advised that I had no cysts but that she thought I more than likely had PCOS. I was a little taken aback because I had always associated ovarian cysts with PCOS. Now, I’m well aware of the difference between PCO and PCOS. Taking into consideration my desire to stay off birth control, she prescribed that I take Glucophage (also known as metformin) for three months. In total I spent close to 8 months on Glucophage and while it helped to balance back my hormones for a while and control my breakouts, it made me feel terrible. I was always tired and it made my lifelong battle with anxiety and depression worsen. When my last prescription of Glucophage ended, I decided that I had had enough of pills and doctor offices. At this time, I had spent close to two years of my life on a roller coaster of emotions and body changes and I knew that if I didn’t take control, my hormone imbalance would continue to rule my life.

The toughest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life was to continue to believe in myself when setbacks occurred in my hormone imbalance journey and my life in general. It’s been more than a year or so since I’ve been able to really manage my hormonal acne and PCOS symptoms and it’s been the most rewarding experience of my life. Exercising regularly, supplementing with essential vitamins, minerals and fish oils and eating healthier has changed the quality of my life and positively affected my PCOS journey.

Of the three things above, eating healthier was the hardest change to make. I’ve always been a bit of a fitness junkie so getting back into a regular exercise routine wasn’t too hard for me and prior to my hormone imbalance I took a multivitamin off and on so supplementing came naturally. However, when you grow up on an island and more so in an East Indian household where everything delicious is made of white flour and soaked in oil, my diet was my only real obstacle. Instead of taking an extreme approach (which I think only increases the failure rate of sticking to healthier eating) I decided to switch it up instead. I swapped full cream milk with almond milk, I limit white flour or white carbs in my diet and eat mostly whole grain or wheat, I reduced my sugar and salt intake, I cook only with coconut oil and I definitely increased my intake of fruits and veggies. Not only have these changes benefited my skin but it has made the most difference in my mental health journey. This is the only reason I’ve been able to stick to healthier eating. I literally eat better to feel better.

My advice to anyone diagnosed with PCOS is…breathe. After you’ve taken that first breath, start taking measures to gain control of your condition. This is not a death sentence; this is an opportunity to better your body, mind and soul. My diagnosis has been a blessing in disguise to me. When my hormone imbalance battle began I cursed myself for ever taking birth control but in reviewing my family history I’ve come to realize that it may in fact have masked the condition. My mother suffered with terrible acne up to the birth of my brother at age twenty one and many women in my family suffer with infertility, ovarian cysts and fibroids. My main reason for coming off the pill was because my PMS symptoms were getting out of control (especially my mood swings) and I was seeing an increase of acne even while on it. Five years later, I thank God for putting me through this personal test because not only have I gained an immeasurable amount of information and respect on how amazing the female body is but it has allowed me to gain a certain level of control over my mental health which I never thought would happen without medication.

Every woman’s body is beautifully different and my way (regular exercise, supplementing and healthier eating) has been a long journey of much trial and error but I hope that my story would encourage you to take the natural route in dealing with your PCOS because sooner or later you will realize, as I did, that the only person who should have control over you and your body, is you. 


To learn more about Amy's journey, read more here: www.naturalleighblog.wordpress.com.

Dear Kenneth,

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about you.

I wonder who you would have been today.

I wonder how different my childhood would have been had you been born.

I wonder what kind of brother you may have been and how close we might be.

I wonder what your profession may be, if you would have a girlfriend and where you might live.

I wonder what your political views may be and how you would react to the current violence against black men like yourself.

I wonder what kind of influence you would have on my son.

I wonder if you may have a family of your own by now.

I wonder if you would have had dad's laid back personality.

I wonder if you would have gotten mom's strength and heart.

I wonder if mom and dad would still be together...

I wonder if you would have been a world traveler like Kim.

I wonder if you would be into superheroes, music and fitness like me.

I wonder if you and my husband would play paintball together.

I wonder so many things little brother. I'm not sure why the Lord took you before any of us had a chance to meet you, but you are loved and missed even after all of these years and I just wanted you to know.

If you are in the Raleigh, North Carolina area, join me tomorrow as we walk and talk to remember and honor the babies who were lost during pregnancy or after birth.

Since becoming a doula and starting my business, I often hear one thing that keeps potential clients from getting the assistance they desire after having a baby: "I can't afford a doula."

Let me tell you right now that you can.

With preparation and planning, you can hire the right doula for your family and not have to stress about the cost or lack of birth and postpartum assistance you want and need.

As someone who has spent a lot of time over the last several years assessing what my worth is when it comes to my field of work, I have learned two things: 1) My time is very valuable and 2) I deserve to be compensated for my time and expertise. You will hear this from most professional doulas who not only have a passion to help new parents and families, but who also want to be successful and earn a living wage for themselves to provide for their families. As with any professional service, the price reflects the quality of service you are getting. In other words, you get what you pay for.

Keep in mind that you are paying for a service that may require your doula being on call 24/7; a service that may require rescheduling family trips or putting vacations on hold; a service that may take a mother away from her family for hours to be with you and yours; a service that requires maintaining professional memberships, trainings and certifications & continuing education; a personal service that caters to you. Being a doula requires a lot of time and attention to other people while making personal sacrifices along the way. We give you the best of us to help you and your family adjust to your new baby and life. But let's put money aside for the moment...

When you purchased your first new car, what did you do to get it?

Before you got married, did you hire a wedding planner? Someone to help oversee your plans and make your vision come to life?

When you were searching for your dream home, did you hire the top realtor to help you find it?

Even if you didn't do any of these things, you can have the desired support for your birth and postpartum period. Just like family make ups and dynamics are not the same, all doulas are not the same. We offer various means of support and services. We are trained by different organizations and practice differently because of that. We may charge different prices for the services we offer for various reasons. But we all want to give parents and families the care and support they desire to thrive in our communities. Finding a doula for your family that is the right fit should be most important, not cost.

Hiring a doula may seem like a daunting and expensive process, but the truth is that if you really want a doula, you can have one and not break the bank. All it takes is some financial planning.

So how can your family prepare financially to hire a doula?

For some families, cost is not an issue. And that is a blessing! But as doulas become more mainstream, more families desire to have that much needed care and support during birth and the fourth trimester. Here is a list of ways you can prepare financially when hiring a doula for your family:

1. Insurance: Some insurance companies now offer full or partial reimbursement for childbirth classes, doula services and other pregnancy and birth related costs. All you need is a receipt to submit a claim. I advise that you call and ask your insurance company what expenses they will cover and/or reimburse you for.​​
2. FSA/HSA: Flexible Spending Accounts and Health Savings Accounts are also great financial options when trying to pay for your doula services. Look into these options through your workplace to set aside money for your doula. Employers may contribute to these accounts and you will receive tax benefits as well. There are differences between an FSA and an HSA so please do your research and decide on the best option.
3. Baby Registry: In lieu of traditional gifts, a family may make a customized baby registry that includes the cost of their doula and other pregnancy and birth related costs. BabyList is a great resource to do just this. It's simple to set up an account online or through their app and even grandparents can use it with ease.
4. Baby Shower: Some expectant parents may choose to have their doula come to their baby shower and set up a display table or simply talk with their guests about what a doula is and how they can benefit the expectant family. This can help in getting others to donate to your doula fund.
5. Saving the old fashioned way: Break out that mason jar and start saving! Commit to setting aside a weekly or monthly amount of money that you are comfortable with and don't touch it! Use your tax return to start your doula fund. Contribute any bonuses or extra income you may receive to ensure that you can pay for your doula services. Every dollar counts.

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There are a few more alternative options as well such as barter/trade, volunteer doula services through hospitals and organizations such as Operation Special Delivery and even crowd-funding. Also, there are doulas like me who will arrange payment plans with families who request them.

Hiring a doula can be much easier if cost isn't an issue. For many, it is the difference in hiring a doula and not hiring a doula. The key is to start planning early and don't be afraid to ask for what you need. Whether you are in your final trimester or you are just starting your family planning journey, it's never too early to start your doula fund.

Interested in hiring me as your doula? Find out more about my services and packages here.