This week's guest blogger is pediatric dentist, Dr. Jasmine Elmore. Dr. Elmore has a unique background making her a top leader in her field. I am often asked about tongue ties and nursing by new parents and I am very excited to share all the information she has shared with me regarding pediatric dentistry.

1. Give me a brief background on yourself and No Limit Baby.
As a board certified pediatric dentist who served mainly underserved communities for many years, I built relationships with a lot of children and families.  As I have always cared about the child attached to the teeth and not just the teeth attached to the child, I started paying attention to things that were not taught in dental school.  I started to notice that a lot of children had asthma, allergies, gut issues, and their teeth were almost always crowded.  Furthermore, it really bothered me that braces didn't permanently resolve the problem.   In fact, they didn't address the root cause of the problem.  Also, I noticed that children were breathing through their mouths all day, parents complained of poor sleep all the time, teachers expressed behavior or attention concerns in the classroom, and so many of these kids were on medications already.  Growing up with a single parent mother who was always focused on prevention and being proactive instead of reactive, I wanted to find answers.  There had to be a reason that I was seeing this all the time.  I'm leaving out a lot of details, many include my own health struggles, but here are a few things that turned a corner for me. 

I read this article and watched this video.

I had no idea how mouth breathing negatively impacted our bodies.  And it became clear to me that there is a link between how we breathe and sleep and our oral health.  So, once I discovered that I personally struggled with the effects of a tongue tie that went undiagnosed, I became passionate to help others.  I studied for years to fully understand the ins and outs of what is really happening.  I had to also take time to accept that the health education system doesn't know how to teach us these things.  The book Breath by James Nestor connected the dots for many people across the country, and I received a lot of phone calls and emails from people looking for help.

I posted on Instagram my personal story and it led to many opportunities to speak on podcasts about how seemingly insignificant actions (like how we breathe, chew, swallow, sit, talk, talk, stand, and sleep) can have huge effects on our overall well-being.  Here is the Instagram post.

And after studying and learning from the best minds in the world about ideal health, mouth breathing and sleep, I started No Limit Baby.  Because every baby deserves to breathe, feed, and sleep without limits and I wanted to help parents put a plan in place to have a healthier baby.

2. How and why did you start No Limit Baby?
After studying with The Breathe Institute in 2018, I realized that everyone locally had this thing all wrong.  When a baby shows signs of struggle, it's better to address the behavioral aspects first for long-term success.   I heard too many stories and saw too many children who had tongue ties repaired but still had a lot of symptoms.  And, I wanted to know why.  So many parents didn't know about why they even needed the procedure and didn't know how to care for their babies before and after the procedure.  I became passionate about being a part of the solution.  I started No Limit Baby to bring the elite and high-end care from California to North Carolina.  The Breathe Institute and Dr Chelsea Pinto are considered at the top of the food chain for this care, and I wanted to learn from and to be affiliated with the best.  So, after years of learning directly from Dr. Pinto, I became the first dual trained affiliate of The Breathe Institute.  I'm now looking for amazing lactation consultants and other baby specialists who want to get additional training to be able to increase their awareness in order to help more kiddos.  Additionally, parents need support outside of the procedure.  They need quality health information and they need to be able to ask questions.  So, we are starting a community over the next couple months to help with quality information sharing and support.

3. You recently made some business changes. What prompted these changes? Describe the process from revamp to relaunch.
When you love people and want to help them with all the things you've learned from so many different genres of medicine, it gets very hard to not want to do all you can for everyone.  From 2018-2020, I obtained two additional degrees, attended a sleep mini-residency program, traveled the world from Australia to Canada learning alternative opinions on the proper growth and development of our children, and studied over 1500 hours of coursework in about ten different areas of holistic health.  So, when I opened my start-up business in 2020 to a waitlist of people, I offered so many different services that I had people coming in from a variety of states for a variety of different reasons.  It very quickly became confusing to explain what exactly we "did" because we "did" so many different things for so many different people.  And, I sat down one day and decided I needed to focus on the most important age group - birth to two years old - because the most important aspects of development are happening during this time.  And, more importantly, the need for providers who understand the entire circle of life is huge.  So, we decided to open a new branch called No Limit Baby that focuses specifically on the needs of 0-2 year olds and their curious parents.  It's been fun!

4. What is a tongue tie?
A tongue tie occurs when the thin membrane under the baby’s tongue (the lingual frenulum) restricts the movement of the tongue. All babies are born with some of this tissue, but for approximately 3-15% of newborns, it is so tight that they cannot move their tongues freely. This can affect their ability to breastfeed and lead to poor latch, nipple pain and trauma, decreased milk intake and a decline in milk supply over time. The medical term for tongue tie is “ankyloglossia” and studies show the defect is likely hereditary.

Many babies with a tongue tie, also have an abnormally tight membrane attaching their upper lip to their upper gums (the labial frenulum). This is called a lip tie. Babies with a lip tie often have difficulty flanging their lips properly to feed and can’t create a proper seal at the breast. This can cause them to take in excess air during breastfeeding, which often makes these babies gassy and fussy.

The question that many parents have is, why is it important to care about a tongue tie?  

And, I use an analogy with parents to best explain why we should care.  Let's say you have a rock in your shoe as you walk from the front door of your house to the car. That's probably more of an annoyance than anything, right?  You would just remove the rock and go about your day. This time, let's say you have a rock in your shoe and you walk from North Carolina to South Carolina. Now, this may be more than an annoyance.  Maybe your foot is cut and your leg probably hurts, too.  Simply removing the rock may not be the end of your troubles with that leg and foot after walking for a few days. Maybe you have a limp and need a little more TLC to get back to normal. Finally, let's say you have a rock in your shoe and you walk from North Carolina to California. I'd imagine over time, the rock wouldn't hurt your foot anymore. In fact, you more than likely have not just a limp but a total change in the way that you walk. After over a month, could you even remember how to walk "normally"? I would bet that even when the rock is removed from your shoe, the way you walk is forever changed. You could obviously still walk, but the new walk would have a lot more work involved in your pre-rock experience.  

Now, how does this relate to tongue ties? 

The tongue tie is the rock in this analogy. Many people think that removing a tongue tie solves a problem but it really doesn't for many babies! The truth is that babies start the process of swallowing and breathing while they are still in utero. They have habits that were formed many months, and sometimes years, before the rock or tongue tie is noticed.  So, removing the tongue tie doesn't resolve the problems alone. It's a part of the solution, yes, but not the solution.  Most likely, there may need to be some retraining of the eating, body posture or oral rest posture. Just like a re-learning of the proper way to walk in the above example. Because if you walk with a limp and off-balance for years, you put unequal pressure as your body compensates to handle tasks. And over time, problems start somewhere else. Same thing with the compensations of working with a restricted tongue.

For me, the best way to explain any "tie" is that it is a physical limitation that impacts function in a way that brings us away from normal. So, a tongue tie is a limitation under the tongue that makes it harder to do what you need to do. So, the next question is: what is the tongue and what does it do? The tongue is a network of 17 muscles (nope, not just one) that work together with our body. It's essential for breathing, eating, posture, and speech.  

5. What is a frenectomy and how does one determine if it's right for their baby?
Tie revisions (called frenectomies) remove the tissue or tight frenulum under the tongue or upper lip. Dr. Elmore uses a state of the art LightScalpel CO2 laser for a safe and quick procedure that allows for greater tongue and lip mobility. In some instances, frenectomies can aid in the prevention of other health problems like dental decay or spacing, speech difficulties, and digestive issues. Dr. Elmore is laser certified by The Academy of Laser Dentistry to perform frenectomies.
While the procedure can be done with a laser or scissors, advantages of revising ties with a laser include:

• Minimal discomfort
• Minimal bleeding during and after the procedure – the laser aids in hemostasis
• Faster healing
• Bactericidal properties
• Increased precision and complete removal of a tie

A frenectomy is a complete surgical modification of the limitation or "tie" we just talked about in the previous question. It's not a quick "snip" and go. It's a procedure that takes less than a minute, but you really want to address the tension and the actual area that's structurally causing the limitation. Only a functional expert who knows and understands compensations and limitations can advise a parent on whether or not a frenectomy is right for a baby. Most importantly, a team approach is so important!  

Dr. Elmore feels that post-revision care is important to the success of the revision. Essentially, the baby must learn how to use his or her tongue in a new way. Some babies need no help at all and immediately breastfeed post-procedure, while other babies may need help from additional professionals.

• An International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) can help improve latch, provide suck strengthening exercises and develop a feeding plan to address issues of latch, nipple healing, and low milk supply.
• A speech or developmental feeding therapist can help babies learn to use their tongues for more effective eating and speech.
• A craniosacral therapist or chiropractor can help babies to release tight muscles that have compensated for a tight frenulum or improper suck.

6. How does your practice and expertise improve the lives of infants and toddlers in the short term and long term?
Every baby deserves to breathe, sleep, and feed without limitations.  Because those limitations lead to compensations. And the compensations lead to a change in the way life is lived.  We should live by design, not by default.  And how we live is a choice. When we choose not to accept and correct our limitations, we choose to live by default.  But, when we choose to remove the obstacles so the essential things in life have clear and smooth passage, I believe that was the way life was designed to be. As an infant tongue tie specialist, it's my passion to help families help their babies reach their highest point of effortless living. Our practice helps parents choose to remove the obstacles so the essential things have clear and smooth passage. Essential things like: breathing clean air, maintaining proper balance, swallowing healthy foods, and obtaining quality sleep. A quality start leaves us best prepared for a quality finish. Here is a video that show short and long term effects.

7. What type of legacy do you hope to impart and leave for the next generation of black health care workers?
In Caribbean and African cultures, places where people who look like us prospered for centuries, health care has a different meaning.  Conventional medicine focuses on a lot of tests and surgeries; most of which don't solve any real problems. If you take a look at our society, we are the land of the sick. We are not well.  Just because we have gotten used to being unwell, does not make us healthy. The top ten causes of death are mainly preventable diseases and lifestyle illnesses. Conventional medicine isn't the best hope for us moving forward. Alternative medicine or holistic health care, what I like to call natural healing, is a huge part of the culture in those areas I mentioned above.  There, doctors are educators not saviors. Physicians aren't the sage on the stage whose word is to be taken as gold, but rather the guide on the side to help you see that the body already has its own answers. Healers educate people on the true facts that a doctor cannot actually solve a problem for a patient with any medication or surgery. If we want to stop kicking the can down the road, we must take care of our own problems with a greater awareness of what is really happening to our bodies. When we think and speak, the body listens to us. Our future depends on the next generation of health care advocates to know and understand these principles to be a part of helping people achieve the best health outcomes.

8. Tell me about your most recent business wi­n.
I'm excited to be working with a Pediatric Occupational Therapist in New York to create a resource for parents to get a better understanding of holistic health for their young babies. The project will be released later this year, so please stay tuned!

June 5, 2020

This has been on my heart for months now. And with everything happening over the last couple of weeks, I need to get this off my chest.

I first new my endo was real....

Almost three years ago, I woke up in pain and stayed in bed all day. I could barely move. Months earlier I had been diagnosed with IBS, but I knew this was something else. I was experiencing another flare and none of the 8 medications I was taking relieved my pain. The sun was going down and I had been trying to get out of bed all day, at least for a little bit, to go grocery shopping. But I just couldnt. So I narrowed down the list and I only needed one thing: milk for my son. I eventually broke down and asked my husband to run to the store. He happily obliged, asked if I needed anything and he took our son with him to Target since none of us had been out that day.

I stayed home with my mom (who had moved in with is just a couple of months prior due to her failing health) and tried to breath through the pain. I managed to doze off for a few minutes and then I heard my phone ring. (Note: for our whole relationship I have consistently missed my husband's calls because when I'm at home, I put my phone on silent. But I had recently started turning my phone volume up whenever he left the house because he always calls for one reason or another).

When I answered the phone I heard my husband's voice and I immediately knew something was wrong. He told me he had been pulled over for no reason. He told me that the officer had a warrant for his arrest. He had me on speaker so I could hear. Him and the officer had an exchange when my husband asked why he had been pulled over and what the warrant was for. Then my husband and I got disconnected. (He apparently called 911 right after this so he could have a record of what was happening). I immediately jumped on my feet, grabbed some clothes, called my neighbor and asked her to take me to my husband and son.

By the time we got in the car, my husband had called back and told me he was about to be arrested. I could hear my son crying in the background. My adrenaline was pumping through me as I was now in a panic. That 9 minute car ride was the longest car ride of my life. I stayed on the phone. I put him on speaker phone so I could hear everything.

When we arrived my husband was in the back of a police SUV. A second officer had arrived at some point and was standing next to our family car just watching my son cry his eyes out. I ran over to the SUV and saw the pain in my husband's eyes. He said he was okay and told me to go get our son and told me not to cry. I walked over to our car and proceeded to calm our son down. My mother stayed with him while I spoke to one of the police officers about what was going to happen next. My heart was pounding but I spoke calmly and nodded my head before getting into my car and following the police officers to the jail.

My neighbor took my mother and son home and I proceeded down the dark highway with tears streaming down face. It seemed like a long drive. The next thing I remember is walking through the huge doors of the building and approaching the metal detector. I was then directed to go down the stairs and wait to speak to the magistrate. I had no idea who that was or what that meant. But as a young black woman who was waiting to bail her black husband our of jail, there was a sense that I did know and was even familiar with the entire process due to the color of my skin. I was not. I was scared. No, terrified. I was cold, hungry and tired. And now, I was alone. Waiting. Not knowing what was happening to my husband. Two hours pasted. I finally saw the magistrate. She spoke fast and again, she spoke to me as if I had been through this process before. I didn't even know where to begin to find a bail bondsman. I called a family friend (an older white woman) and without hesitation, she came to sit with me for a while. She waited at the jail just in case there were any updates about my husband while I went to the atm to get bail money. Money we had just put in our savings account. Money we needed. Money I was thankful to have at a time like this.

When I returned, I was told that my husband was being released soon. I waited another 40 minutes before I saw him slowly walk over to me. There was something in his eyes... He was defeated. He was angry. He was sad. I noticed that he was carrying his shoe strings. We hugged for a long time. I don't remember the ride home. It was after 2 am when we finally got home. He had bruises from the handcuffs. They served as reminders days after the whole ordeal. He made a video of his experience and his feelings about being wrongfully arrested before we went to bed. I barely slept. My body had just experienced a full on traumatic experience while I was in the middle of an endo flare. There are no words to express what my body and brain endured that day and the months following. This was the day I knew my endo was real.

When I was diagnosed with endometriosis in 2019, I was so relieved. Not only had I found a doctor who actually listened to me, but she had an answer for my debilitating pain. After years of confusion, dozens of doctors and several misdiagnosis, I felt like I could breathe again.

But last year proved to test me even more physically and mentally as well.

I thought the height of my pain was a few years ago when I became the caregiver for my mother who was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. What I didn't yet know was that I had endometriosis and my chronic pain was just one symptom of many that I was experiencing. For over a year, I ignored my pain, put my business on hold & got a nanny job so that I could properly care for my mother all while still homeschooling my son and continuing my education through trainings and doula courses.

While I have been able to somewhat manage my physical pain since being diagnosed, I was not at all prepared for how endometriosis and stress would affect my mental health.

If 2020 taught us nothing, it taught us to focus on health and whole body wellness, especially mental health. Many things changed for me professionally and navigating a business during a pandemic was more than challenging. And due to the nature of my work, I had to make huge operational changes that completely modified the way I worked and connected with my clients. To say I was stressed was an understatement. Thank God for my husband who proved to be my saving grace and comfort more often that not after a long day of Zoom consultations and birth support. During this time, my main source of stress relief was halted overnight: exercise. I am a Zumba instructor as well as a doula and when Covid-19 began to rapidly spread across my city, county and state, everything was shut down including my classes. Truth be told, I was already planning the next phase of my fitness journey, but I did not anticipate how long my classes would be on hold. It has been over a year since I taught my last Zumba class and yes, I miss my students and the dance floor terribly. But it didn't matter. My body was holding on to so many emotions, it was presenting itself as physical pain and suffering which left me no energy or desire to exercise anyway.

May 2020 proved to be one of the hardest months to endure due to the murder of George Floyd. Between the news and social media, I was in a constant cycle of being triggered and when I am emotionally triggered, my body responds well before my brain has a chance to even process what is happening. This is likely due to my childhood and the sexual abuse I experienced as a young girl. Believe it or not, this was a HUGE revelation for me. Why you ask? Making the connection between my pain and what I was consuming (news, gossip, negativity, lies, videos of unarmed black and brown people being murdered, political propaganda and yes, even food) helped me to make the necessary changes to slow and break the continuous cycle of triggers and pain so that I can permanently release all the built up negativity and projections that I am physically and mentally holding on to.

I have known for some time that I have a stronger intuition about certain things than most people. Attunement is a word often used in the birth world when describing the way doulas connect with our clients. My son has actually helped me to tap into my own empathic power. What I have learned on my healing journey is that I am also an empath. However, I have recently discovered that this spiritual gift has been blocked in one way or another since I was a kid. So the more I teach my son to lean into his own power, the more I learn about my own and that has given me a peace I haven't had in long time. It assures me that I am indeed headed in the right direction with my healing.

This year I am continuing to focus on my mental health and releasing any blockages that may be holding me back from fully realizing my purpose. I have started writing and journaling again. I have been meditating and practicing Reiki therapy. I am moving my body intentionally through yoga and nature walks. I am also exploring acupuncture and sound therapy. I am open to any and all things that will facilitate healing and mental wellness. The most important thing is that I am happy and whole so that I can properly care for myself, my family and my clients. You can read my complete endo story and learn more about endometriosis here.

As an Endo Black Ambassador, I am responsible for raising awareness about endometriosis and sharing my personal experiences while living with this disease. I have found so much comfort in the Endo Black community because we all have similar stories & experiences that we each can relate to on a deep level. Below are testimonies from some of my fellow "endo warriors" about how endometriosis has effected their mental health. If you did not know, endometriosis is a FULL BODY DISEASE and that includes the physical, mental and emotional. There is no cure so we share our stories in hope that research will give us the answers we want and need someday. Please consider making a donation to Endo Black, Inc. today.

I have heard this song three times in the last few days (prompting me to finish this blog post) and while I've heard is dozens of times before, it hit different this week. It was like a serious call to action.






​Back in December, one of my favorite birth workers, Sabia Wade, posted about Black Luxury and bringing it into 2021. That phrase has been ringing in my ears ever since! So what is Black Luxury?

• Quality fabrics and getting dressed just because...
• Fine dining and traveling to exotic destinations
• Making financial investments/Owning land & multiple properties
• Whole body wellness that includes estheticians, chiropractors, dentists, trainers, nutritionists, herbalists and therapists

Black Luxury is things previously denied to us; all things that raise our vibrations and feed our higher selves. Prioritizing our deepest needs to fulfill our purpose. Simply put, it's whatever you need to live the life you desire as a Black being.

Repeat after me: I can and will have all the things I want in addition to what I need. I am no longer living in survival mode-I will THRIVE in all that I do.

Sure, looking good and having a little money in your pocket are important, but I'm not talking about temporary or quick solutions. I'm talking about a lifestyle. The way we were meant to live in this world. We need to normalize Black Luxury.

• Guilt free rest
• Saying no (with no explanation)
• Outsourcing
• Asking for what you need
• Making time to enjoy hobbies and discover new ones and of course
• Getting rid of all the things (and people) that no longer serve us 
• No more people pleasing or saying yes because you don't want to "miss an opportunity"

We are walking in our God given authority and power.

We are loving and living on purpose.

We are embracing every ounce of our melanin and displaying it elegantly everywhere we go.

We will no longer accept no for an answer when we shouldn't have had to ask in the first place.

We are making our own tables to sit and eat at.

We are giving up toxic work environments and establishing legacies and generational wealth through entrepreneurship. 

We are ditching the grind, hustle and capitalism cultures and RESTING. Period.

We are relinquishing obligations and making room for new opportunities and life to happen organically.

We will travel more and explore other cultures we have influenced.

We are done with a government who treats us like second class citizens & murders us without cause or consequences when our ancestors built this country with their blood, sweat and tears.

Yes. Black Luxury is more than money and material things. It's about confidence. Influence. True, pure love. The power of the Black dollar. Owning our full identities and true selves. Manifesting a life that the history books can't lie about. Black Luxury is the cure for burnout. (Argue with me.)

How will you be incorporating Black Luxury into your life? Leave a comment below.

Happy Black History Month!

Oh, wait.... Happy New Year too!

I hope and pray everyone reading this is well and has started the new year off with new goals & intentions that will only lead to great things.

I have to be honest with you... January was a bit difficult for me. I was dealing with a couple of big disappointments from December and I was in a terrible funk. I will spare you the details because truthfully I don't need to revisit those feelings and while I am not 100% over it all, God has already dealt with my heart concerning these matters and I know that my delay is not a denial.

I began the new year with a three week fast for some spiritual insight. It was hard, especially since I was on call for three families, but the clarity I received was invaluable. I was having a difficult time moving forward with my plans and goals for this year because I was still carrying the heaviness of last year. Although, I tried to prioritize my physical & mental health in 2020, it got harder with each passing day. I realized that there was/is a lot going on around me that I cannot control and instead of backing away and taking a break to protect my peace, I developed a habit of having to know what was happening in the world at any given moment (staying informed) even when it triggers me. I definitely blame that on 45. At this point we all have PTSD from the trauma that man caused America and the world. That means we all have a pre-existing condition now, right?

If you have been following me for some time then you may know that I used to write and end-of-the-year rant aka blog airing my grievances (mostly political) from the year. But we lived and survived all 366 days of the mess that was 2020. Unfortunately, we are still dealing with it all. And some of us are dealing with even more due to the lack of action from Congress in a timely manner. My heart can't help but hurt thinking of all the families who have lost loved ones, homes, jobs and so much more in the past year. And unfortunately, the affects of what happened in 2020 will not end any time soon. It has already affected the next generation and their way life, education and health.

With all that we have endured, it only seems right that I, and maybe you too, are feeling stuck. My advice: explore those feelings and see where it leads you. Find a way to move forward, even if you have to change your daily routine. But please, do not be afraid to move forward. Fear breeds nothing, literally. Tell me the truth: are you still doing the same thing you were doing in April 2020 when quarantine first began? Have you changed anything about how you live, work or play? More importantly, is your self care routine the same? (It shouldn't be.) Yes, we as humans can be very adaptable especially when we have very little choice. But we also can't ignore our instincts and expectations to be safe and secure. Transparency: I haven't felt safe since the election. And of course my feelings only grew stronger on January 6th. This post was almost titled "Dear America, I Don't Trust You", but I had to shift my energy because I didn't want to start the new year on a negative note. But you know what I'm getting at.

So what is in store for me and Best of Both Worlds Doula Services in 2021? LOTS! But you will just have to wait and see. I will be moving a bit differently this year so I can accomplish some BIG goals and birth some new things. What exactly does that mean? I am going to be "Reclaiming My Time" as auntie Maxine Waters says. It means that I will be less available. I will purposely and unapologetically be selfish with my time. Less social media and checking in on people. I am constantly giving my time whether it is with family, clients, mentees and business colleagues. and after last year, I think about time, my time, much differently. Growth and protecting my peace are my only priorities this year. This next level will require more of me which means less everything else.

If you are feeling anything but joy and happiness right now. That is okay. That is expected. Breathe. Be open minded and ready for new opportunities and doors to open even if it's not what you expected. Trust the process and your intuition. Reclaim your time and take control of the things you can. Everything will fall into place at the right time.