​The holidays are often painted as a season of light, laughter, and togetherness. But for many families, this time of year arrives carrying an ache that’s hard to put into words. An empty chair at the table. A quiet house where a child’s laughter once filled the air. A job lost, a dream deferred, a relationship changed, a body that no longer feels the same after birth or loss.

Grief doesn’t take a holiday break.

Many people often feel pressure (spoken or unspoken) to “be strong,” to show up for others, or to recreate joy for their families even when their own hearts feel heavy. Even I have expereinced a great deal of unexpected loss and grief this year both personally and professinally. If you’re walking through the holidays after loss, I want you to know this first and foremost:

Your grief is valid. Your sadness is not a failure of faith. And joy does not mean pretending everything is okay.

Grief and Joy Can Coexist
One of the greatest misunderstandings about grief, especially within faith spaces, is the idea that joy replaces sorrow. But scripture tells a different story.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” —Psalm 34:18

Joy, in a biblical sense, is not forced cheerfulness or constant gratitude. It is a quiet, steady hope rooted in God’s presence with us, even in the valley. You can grieve deeply and still experience moments of joy. You can laugh one moment and cry the next. Both can live side by side.

Joy may look different now. Softer. Quieter. More fleeting. And that’s okay.

Naming the Losses We Carry
Loss during the holidays isn’t always tied to death alone. Many families are grieving:

• The loss of a pregnancy or child
• The loss of a parent, sibling, or dear friend
• The loss of a job or financial security
• The loss of health, identity, or expectations after birth
• The loss of traditions that no longer feel the same

Grief after birth, whether after a traumatic delivery, NICU stay, infertility journey, or postpartum struggles, can feel especially isolating during a season that celebrates new life and happiness. If this is you, please know this: God sees every part of your story, including the chapters you never wanted to write.

Gentle Ways to Make Space for Joy (Without Forcing It)
Joy doesn’t need to be manufactured. Often, it’s received quietly when we allow ourselves grace.

1. Lower the bar.
This may not be the year for elaborate traditions or full calendars. Give yourself permission to simplify. A peaceful day is enough.

2. Create new traditions.
It’s okay if old traditions feel painful. Light a candle in remembrance. Write a prayer. Take a quiet walk. Invite God into something new.

3. Let yourself feel it all.
Suppressing grief doesn’t protect joy, it delays healing. Tears are not a setback; they are a form of release.

4. Ask for support.
Just as I remind new parents they weren’t meant to do postpartum alone, grief was never meant to be carried in isolation. Lean on trusted friends, your faith community, or a professional if needed.

5. Look for holy moments, not happy ones.
Joy may show up as a deep breath, a kind word, a warm meal, or a moment of rest. These are sacred, too.

A Faith Reminder for the Weary Heart
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
—Matthew 5:4

God does not rush your healing. He does not ask you to skip over grief to prove your trust in Him. He meets you in it. The incarnation we celebrate at Christmas is a reminder that God entered a broken world, not a perfect one, and chose to dwell with us in our pain.

If this holiday season feels heavier than joyful, you are not alone. There is no timeline for grief. There is no right way to mourn. And there is no expiration date on love. But know that our God heals and he is waiting to do it for you,

May this season hold space for your sorrow and gently invite moments of peace.

May you feel God’s nearness in the quiet moments and His grace when the days feel overwhelming.

And may joy, however small and however unexpected, find you exactly where you are.

If you are grieving, you are seen. You are held. And you do not walk this season alone.

Returning to work after having a baby is a deeply personal and often emotional experience. It’s a significant milestone that can bring a mix of pride, anxiety, and guilt. For many new parents, this transition means not only adapting to a new daily routine but also coping with the emotional strain of being away from their baby for extended periods. If you're approaching this chapter, know that you're not alone and that preparation, both physically and emotionally, can make a world of difference.

The Emotional Reality of Returning to Work
One of the biggest challenges new moms and dads face when returning to work is the emotional tug-of-war that comes with leaving their baby in someone else’s care. Whether your little one is staying with a family member, a nanny, or going to daycare, it can be heart-wrenching to walk away each morning knowing someone else will witness their smiles, feedings, and firsts during the day.

Common emotional challenges include:

• Guilt about not being there every moment.
• Separation anxiety—not just for the baby, but for you, too.
• Fear of missing out on milestones.
• Overwhelm from juggling work responsibilities and parenting.

These feelings are normal and valid. But with time, structure, and support, it does get easier.

Preparing Physically: Establishing a New Routine
The key to easing back into work is creating a routine that supports both your well-being and your baby's needs.
Here’s how to get started:
1. Practice the Morning Routine Early- A week or two before your official return, do a few trial runs of your morning schedule. Wake up at the time you would for work, get yourself and your baby ready, and leave the house as if you’re heading to work. This helps both of you adjust to the rhythm without the pressure of a real workday.

2. Build a Consistent Sleep and Feeding Schedule- Work with your baby to find a predictable sleep and feeding schedule that aligns with your working hours. This will help the person caring for your baby maintain consistency, which is comforting for babies and reassuring for you. If you are planning to pump while you are working, be sure to make the necessary arrangements to be able to do so (pumping space, scheduled time for pumping sessions and milk storage).

3. Prepare Meals and Outfits Ahead of Time- Evening preparation is a game-changer. Lay out clothes, prep bottles, pack your lunch, and organize your baby’s diaper bag the night before to minimize morning stress.

4. Prioritize Self-Care- Returning to work isn’t just about your baby—it’s also about you. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and incorporating some gentle movement (even a walk counts). A healthy mom is a happier, more present mom.

Preparing Emotionally: Coping with Separation and Change
1. Visit and Trust the Caregiver- Spend time getting to know the caregiver or daycare staff. Observe how they interact with your baby and ask plenty of questions. Feeling confident in who’s caring for your baby can ease separation anxiety and help you focus at work.

2. Start with Short Separations- Ease into longer days apart by starting with shorter separations if possible. Begin with a few hours and gradually extend the time. This allows both you and your baby to adjust more gently.

3. Stay Connected During the Day- Ask your caregiver to send updates or photos throughout the day. A quick message can offer enormous comfort and help bridge the distance.

4. Create Special Rituals- Make the most of the time you do have. Create simple morning or bedtime rituals that are just for you and your baby. Whether it's singing a special song, reading a book, or snuggling before bed, these moments will be cherished and help strengthen your bond.

5. Give Yourself Grace- Some days will be harder than others. There may be tears (from both of you), forgotten items, or guilt that creeps in unexpectedly. Allow yourself to feel all of it without judgment. You’re doing your best—and that’s enough.

The Honest Truth: parenting is hard. Not just “I’ve-been-up-all-night” hard, or “my-toddler-just-flushed-my-keys” hard. I'm talking next-level hard. And while sleep deprivation, mystery stains, and the eternal search for matching socks play their part, there's one sneaky culprit that makes this whole parenting thing truly bananas:
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Everyone suddenly becomes a parenting expert.

Yep. The real reason parenting is so hard? It’s not your baby. It’s your great aunt Carol, your neighbor Sharon, the random barista who just “has to say something,” and don’t forget the infinite scroll of contradictory advice from Instagram moms who look like they haven’t ever had spit-up on their sweaters. The real reason parenting is so hard is because everybody has an opinion on how YOU should parent YOUR child(ren). How Sway?!

You bring your baby to the park and someone tells you they’re underdressed. Another tells you they’re overdressed. One stranger says co-sleeping is the only way, while another gasps in horror that your baby isn’t in their crib at 7:03 p.m. sharp.

If babies came with instruction manuals, every page would be written in a different handwriting—with conflicting advice in the margins.

Welcome to the wild ride of unsolicited parenting wisdom.

But here’s the thing no one tells you enough (unless you’ve got that one cool friend who keeps it real):
You’re allowed to ignore the noise. In fact, you should.

Because the truth is, nobody—not your mom, not your pediatrician (okay, maybe a little bit your pediatrician), and definitely not that Facebook mom’s group—is raising your baby. You are. And you’re going to get a lot of things right. You’re also going to mess some stuff up. That’s called parenting. It’s not a mistake, it’s how it works.

Every cry, every giggle, every midnight panic-Google (please don't Google) builds your parenting muscle. You don’t learn how to parent by reading all the blogs (yes, including this one—ironic, I know). You learn it the old-fashioned way: by doing it. By trial. By error. By rerouting. And by trusting that little voice inside you that says, “Okay, I’ve got this. I think.”

So, the next time someone offers you the tip that “saved their baby’s sleep/feeding/sanity,” smile politely. Say “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” And then do whatever the heck you think is right. Because you're not raising their baby. You’re raising yours. And you're doing great—even if your shirt is inside out and your toddler just ate a crayon.

Hang in there, trust your gut, and remember: no one knows your baby like you do.
Someday you’ll get to give your own unsolicited advice. Just think of it as a rite of passage.

​Giving birth is a most assuredly a transformative experience—physically, emotionally, and mentally. But one aspect that often doesn’t get enough attention is the impact childbirth can have on the pelvic floor. Whether you had a vaginal delivery or a cesarean section, your pelvic floor muscles have supported you through pregnancy and birth, and they deserve some care and attention during your postpartum recovery.

Let's explore what the pelvic floor is, why it’s so crucial to your well-being after childbirth, and practical ways to strengthen it during the postpartum period.

What is the Pelvic Floor?
The pelvic floor is a group of muscles and connective tissues that stretch like a hammock from your pubic bone to your tailbone. These muscles support key organs including the bladder, uterus, and rectum. They also play a critical role in urinary and bowel control, sexual function, and core stability.

Why is Pelvic Floor Health Important Postpartum?
During pregnancy, your pelvic floor carries the increasing weight of your growing uterus. Then, during vaginal birth, these muscles stretch significantly, sometimes tearing or weakening. Even if you had a cesarean section, pregnancy alone can put strain on the pelvic floor.
Common postpartum issues related to pelvic floor dysfunction include:

• Urinary incontinence (leaking when you cough, laugh, or sneeze)
• Pelvic organ prolapse (when organs like the uterus or bladder drop into the vaginal canal)
• Pain during sex
• Lower back or pelvic pain

These symptoms are common, but they are not something you have to just “live with.” Strengthening your pelvic floor can help restore function, improve comfort, and support your long-term health.

When Can You Start Pelvic Floor Exercises?
Generally, you can begin gentle pelvic floor exercises, often called Kegels, within a few days after birth, especially if you feel ready and comfortable. However, every birth is different, so it’s essential to:

• Listen to your body
• Follow any specific guidance from your healthcare provider
• Wait for clearance at your postpartum check-up (usually around 6 weeks) before starting more intense exercise

You can also be proactive about your pelvic floor health and begin seeing a PFT during pregnancy.

How to Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Postpartum
Here are simple, safe ways to start restoring your pelvic floor health after birth:
1. Kegels- These are small but powerful contractions that help rebuild strength and endurance in your pelvic floor.

• Tighten the muscles as if you’re trying to stop the flow of urine
• Hold for 3–5 seconds, then release
• Repeat 10 times, a few times a day

Pro tip: Avoid doing Kegels while actually urinating, as this can lead to bladder issues over time.

2. Pelvic Tilts- Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat. Gently tilt your pelvis so your lower back presses into the floor, then release. This helps engage your deep abdominal muscles along with the pelvic floor.

3. Diaphragmatic Breathing- Deep breathing helps reduce intra-abdominal pressure and allows the pelvic floor to move naturally.

• Inhale deeply, expanding your belly
• Exhale slowly, gently drawing in your pelvic floor muscles

4. See a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist- If you’re dealing with discomfort, incontinence, or just want expert support, a pelvic floor PT can create a personalized plan to help you recover safely and effectively.

Pelvic floor recovery isn’t a race. Healing takes time, and every body is different. Rest, hydration, and gentle movement are all part of the equation. And remember: asking for help, whether from your OBGYN, a physical therapist, or a postpartum coach, is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Caring for your pelvic floor after childbirth is one of the best investments you can make in your long-term health and quality of life. Whether you’re newly postpartum or a few years into parenthood, it’s never too late to start. Strong doesn’t mean “bouncing back”, it means building back better, with awareness, support, and self-compassion.

Got questions? Contact me for resources and recommendations for local pelvic floor therapists.

​Parenthood is a rollercoaster—equal parts joy, terror, and mystery odors. Some days you're crushing it and other days you're barely hanging on and giving it just enough to keep everybody alive. The truth? Raising kids is weird, messy, loud... and absolutely hilarious. If you know where to look (hint: everywhere), the humor in parenthood is not only real, it's what will keep you sane.

1. The Comedy is in the Chaos
The toddler tantrum over the “wrong” color cup. The six-year-old logic that explains how underwear is optional at school. The teen who’s suddenly embarrassed by the way you breathe. These moments are comedy gold—eventually. Maybe not in the moment, but give it time. Or a group text with your best parent friends.
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Need reassurance?
Check out “Sh*t My Dad Says” by Justin Halpern, which began as a Twitter account and evolved into a hilarious memoir of growing up with a brutally honest (and unintentionally funny) father. It’s a reminder that even the most off-the-wall parenting moments make for the best stories later.

2. Lower the Bar (And Your Expectations)
Perfection is a trap. Let go of the Pinterest-worthy bento boxes and embrace the chicken nuggets. Your child will survive mismatched socks and cereal for dinner. The real parenting wins are surviving Target with toddlers or managing to drink your coffee before it gets cold.
For a perfect dose of reality, “Toddlers Are Aholes: It’s Not Your Fault” by Bunmi Laditan delivers a painfully accurate (and funny) look at life with tiny, irrational dictators. She reminds us all that it’s okay to laugh at the absurdity of parenting life—because that’s what it is: absurd.

3. Kids Say the Darndest (And Most Terrifying) Things
Children are unfiltered little truth bombs with a gift for mortifying their parents in public. Their questions, observations, and bedtime stall tactics are often unintentionally hilarious.

Take comfort in “I Heart My Little A-Holes” by Karen Alpert, a laugh-out-loud collection of parenting mishaps, awkward moments, and brutally honest truths. Alpert’s self-deprecating style gives all parents permission to laugh at themselves—and their offspring.

4. Celebrate the Small Wins
Did you remember picture day? Amazing. Got your child to eat something green? You’re a wizard. Laughed at a poop joke? Welcome to the club. Parenthood is built on these small victories and the ability to find joy (or at least sarcasm) in them.

For inspiration, revisit “Go the Fk to Sleep” by Adam Mansbach, the picture book for grown-ups that perfectly captures the bedtime battle—and your inner monologue. Bonus: there’s a version read by Samuel L. Jackson that deserves a spot in the Parenting Hall of Fame.
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5. Share the Struggle
Some of the funniest parenting moments come from swapping stories with other sleep-deprived grown-ups. Community is key. Whether it's a mom group, a dad podcast, or a 2 a.m. Reddit thread titled "Is this rash normal?", laughter connects us.

Don’t miss “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids” by Jancee Dunn, which tackles the relationship side of parenting with humor, honesty, and actionable advice for keeping your sense of humor—and your marriage—alive through the trenches.

Parenting isn’t a sitcom, but it sure has the material for one. So the next time your kid draws a mustache on the cat or announces loudly in public that “Mommy tooted,” take a breath and laugh. These are the moments you will retell at their graduation party... or wedding... or to their therapist. After all, if we can't laugh at parenting, we’ll probably just cry into that day-old coffee. And that’s just no fun.