The Other Side

The last photo I snapped before leaving my most recent birth

The other day while I was brushing my teeth, I received a text from one of my birth clients. She is now a few weeks postpartum and had just gotten around to responding to the Mother's Day message I sent to her. She informed me that she, her husband and baby were all doing well and she thanked me again for all of my continued support over the past year. I had a moment. I started to tear up because a lot of what I do is tedious, detailed preparation (follow-ups & check-ins, emails & calls, consulting, invoices and paperwork) and very rarely do I stop and take the time to soak in the "thanks". As I began to reflect on her birth and all the families I have supported over the last year specifically, I hit hit me like a ton of bricks-I don't have a single photo of myself doing birth work. Sure, I have a few selfies in my scrubs, some photos from my trainings and even a couple of candids from my first postpartum client, but the only evidence that I have of myself immersed in my work is from the other side of the camera. I have never held any of my birth babies. No one has ever asked. And it's fine. This work isn't about me. But I do wish that I was included more, if that makes sense.

The truth is that much of my work is unseen. I do a lot of make sure my clients are informed about all of their options and I am available to them whenever they need me. All of my clients receive customized support depending on their individual family needs and that could mean a wide range of things. While I can't guarantee a specific birth outcome or experience, my clients can count on professionalism and continuity of care. Bottom line: I do a lot of so that my clients can focus on what's most important: their families. As a doula and professional family caregiver, my work is very personal. The level of trusted care, education and expertise that I give is unmatched. There is the physical side to the job that requires me to show up, listen, be present and hands on, work with the other members of the birth team, take photos, do hip squeezes & massages, get ice, take detailed birth notes and following up with postpartum visits & care all while being emotionally attentive to my clients and so much more. And then there is the part of the job that involves navigating the unknown, waiting and sometimes advocating for your clients... or uncertainties that result in changed plans, different birth outcomes, pain, trauma and even loss. I too have to process all that happens and still support my clients.

​I am always working. Even when it seems like I'm not. But I am also a PERSON and sometimes that gets overlooked. I am a wife and a mother. I have other commitments and responsibilities in the community as well. I also have a chronic disease that some of my clients are unaware of, but I still manage to do what I need to do when the time comes. That's just who I am. But does it have to be?

This year, I have been focusing more on the energy I give and how I use my own energy throughout the day. I have been intentionally practicing the art of attracting the energy I want, especially in business. I have been scheduling time off and taking breaks when needed to make sure my own cup is full. I have a couple of clients right now that I have connected with deeply. They see me. They get me. They acknowledge that I too have emotions and need time away from my work. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

I have changed a lot since I first became a doula. As I developed professionally and experienced different things over the years, my brand has evolved and reflected who I am really am and what I am most passionate about. I think people (my people) are recognizing that and finding me. And while sometimes it gets lonely and even overwhelming on the other side of the camera, I still love it here.