​It's my doula anniversary!

Five years ago today I completed my very first doula training. It's amazing how much I have learned and grown as a woman and entrepreneur since then. I have leaned into my strengths, embraced my weaknesses, reduced my fears and crushed my doubt to be who I was called to be. I am truly blessed to have seen my dream realized and I know I still have a lot to do and many more families to work with. I look forward continuing my work and educating others about the beneficial role of doula. But today, I will have cake!

Business Birthday Vibes All Day! 🎂🎉

Will you do me a favor and help me celebrate?

1. Tag someone who is pregnant or just had a baby

2. Leave me a review on Facebook and/or Google

3. Comment below and tell me how I or another doula have impacted you and your family's lives

EXTENDED GIVEAWAY! Since I have very low entries for the @bedtanicals giveaway, I have extended it for another week! Enter by Friday, March 13th at 5 p.m.

​*To enter the giveaway, follow @sexwithashley, @bedtanicals and @bestofbothworldsdoula on Instagam and leave a comment on my last blog post (Guest Blog Interview with Ashley Cobb).

This week's guest blogger is Ashley Cobb, sex educator and owner of Bedtanicals. I connected with Ashley a few months ago through social media and I knew I had to introduce her to my followers and clients. Earlier this week, Ashley and I co-hosted a live discussion and Q&A on Instagram to talk about all things SEX. We had a great discussion and I am grateful for all of the feedback and questions that followed. If you missed us live and didn't get a chance to catch the replay, please see my IG feed for my recap post. As the month of love comes to a close, I wanted to share a little more information about Ashley and the important work that she is doing.



​1. Give me some background information on yourself and your business.

I am a sex blogger and influencer, I run the website and social media pages for Sex With Ashley (SWA). SWA is a collection of personal sex related stories, advice and tips. I also recently launched a CBD sexual wellness company, Bedtanicals. Bedtanicals mission is to increase pleasure and lubrication for vulva owners.

2. What made you decide to become a entrepreneur? How did you get into your work?

The entrepreneurial life chose me. I am not one of those people who knew from birth they were meant to be a business owner, I sorta fell into it. I always had an interest in sexual health, my degree is in biology and health promotion. I knew early on that I wanted to be a sex educator. However in my area, finding work as a health educator was extremely difficult so I created my own lane. In 2016, I left my job as a middle school teacher to find a way to make my passion a reality. That was very hard year, but within that year I learned that working for someone else was not my thing. That year was the year I knew I was born to be an entrepreneur.

3. What were the best & hardest parts of starting your business, both personally and professionally?

Starting businesses are marathons not races, being patience and consistent during the tough times is the hardest part. When your business isn’t growing as fast as you would want it, its hard to keep going some days. But not giving up as benefits which is the best part. Watching something you built, bare fruit into this whole thing is the best feeling in the world. Personally, you are going to miss out on some events and celebrations and that sucks. Learning to create balance is also a hard part. You want to be there for everybody but sometimes you just cant. But good friends and family will understand and that always makes it better.

4. What did you learn about yourself and your support system while studying/training and starting your business?

I’ve learned that your friends and family might not always support you in the beginning so you have to believe in yourself. Family and friends tend to need time and proof that your “little” idea or business will work out first then they usually jump on the bandwagon soon after. So don’t let family and friends with limited view points distort the vision and goals you have for your life.

5. What is your niche? What defines and separates your brand and business from others?

My niche is sex and women. I think want makes my brand stand out is me, I’m relatable. I just don’t teach but I share my own personal stories too.

6. Describe the sex education culture & community in North Carolina.

North Carolina is very much the south. Sex is still taboo for most. It a lot of religious shame associated with sex still here. Sex is something you do but don’t talk about.

7. Where do you see your business in 5 years?

In five years, I see Bedtanicals as one of the leading CBD Sexual Wellness Brands. I see the Sex With Ashley brand as the go to sexual wellness blog for black women. I want to be this household name that women trust for sex advice.

8. What advice do you have for any entrepreneurs looking to start or revamp their business?

Don’t quit your day job until your dreams are able to support you. Also keep believing in yourself even when it seems like nothing is changing. Be patient. Be consistent. Learn to do what works best for you. You will find that everyone has advice on what you should be doing in your business but you have to be able to take the meat and throw away the rest.

9. Who do you look up to or admire in the sexual education and health community?

I look up to a lot of people in the sexual education field. A few of my faves are Dr Rachel Ross, Jessica O’Reily and Michele Hope.


Ashley is a "Sexfluencer" whose goal is to help women create more intimate, exciting, fulfilling sex life. She created her personal brand and blog, Sex With Ashley as a tool to help women feel comfortable discussing their sexual desires as well as release all the negative B.S. that holds them back from experiencing the best sex imaginable. Likewise her CBD Sexual Wellness Company, Bedtanicals is on a mission to provide luscious, organic CBD lubrication and increased pleasure to people with vulvas and vaginas.

Social Media: @bedtanicals and @sexwithashley

ISSA GIVEAWAY!

​Ashley has a special gift to giveaway! The winner will receive goodies from her Bedtanicals product line!
​To enter, follow @sexwithashley, @bedtanicals and @bestofbothworldsdoula on Instagram and leave comment on this blog post. Bonus entry: repost the blog/giveaway post in your IG stories and be sure to tag @bestofbothworldsdoula and @sexwithashley. Giveaway ends Friday, March 6th at 11:59 p.m. The winner will be announced within 48 hours.

2019 was a year of great revelation in terms of public knowledge, communication and information. Technological advancements, an all knowing 24 hour news cycle and modern day politics have forever changed the way we connect, learn and engage. With each passing year, how we live, work, play and love evolves more and more because of it. But in today's world these things have also caused chaos within our society (information overload, fake news and social media pressures). We are now living in 2020 and even as advanced as the human race has become, we are more divided and less tolerant, accepting and forgiving. Self involvement has overridden community and we pay for it daily. We haven't protected Earth as we should have and we are losing her faster than we may be able to repair. Spiritually speaking, we are failing the test. God allows all things to happen. He is all knowing. He can be anything and do anything in the blink of an eye. But if we were to just stop for a moment and really think past our day to day lives, look through a spiritual lens if you will, and truly fulfill our purpose, we may start to perceive all matters and especially personal encounters differently.

​When I was younger, I would have never imagined the world we live in today. I'm an 80s baby which means my grandparents lived through and survived the Civil Rights Movement. When I was born, car seats weren't the law because the concept was so new. My parents worked just so I could go to college. I am a part of a generation who has seen the most change and will likely see the most change in such a short period of time. For me, college was a dream realized by my entire family. I initially wanted to leave my mark as an educator. But things did not turn out that way (4 1/2 years, 129 credits and no Bachelor's degree). I am a highly educated wife and mother who changed courses due to my ever changing political and economic environment. I am now an entrepreneur who serves families in various capacities as a doula because I could no longer rely on my government and elected officials to make sure I have a future and legacy, let alone my son. We live in a time where voting isn't enough anymore. Being a candidate that thinks outside the box and has the people's best interest at heart is how you make a real change (just ask my husband).

​I've never considered myself "woke" per say, but I am very conscious and highly aware of the state of America. Over the last several years I feel like I have been forced to uplift, parade and even boast about my blackness due to 45 and his racist agenda. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud to be black. I love my skin, hair and every feature I have that was passed down my bloodline. But I'm not going to lie, it is exhausting. Even around my counterparts sometimes. The way I think now at almost 35 years old is totally different from the way I saw things at 25. Again, many things have contributed to this such as my experiences, hardships, education, marriage, motherhood, relationships and spirituality.

​Changing your mindset is a choice. Simple as that. A choice about control. First, ask yourself these questions and take some time to explore the answers.

• Do you understand that you can't control everything?
  
• Are you going let the things you can't control stop you from going after the things you can control?
• Who are you and who do you want to be?
• Do you trust yourself, your purpose and your journey?
  

It took me a long time to get out of my own way. I had to let fear and doubt go because I've realized that my brain and my spirit don't have room for it. Those two things crushed all of my creativity and hindered my thought process. I have embraced the phrases "Connection over Perfection" and "Failing Forward" because the flaws and failures are all apart of the learning process. I have spent the majority of my life worrying about things that never came to pass. And I've learned that the things that did happen were supposed to happen. Worrying only increases the perceived negativity within and consumes your mind. There is literally no room left to think about your future and life you want outside of your current situation and circumstances. So it doesn't happen. Because you are stuck. How can you be your true and highest self if you are afraid? More importantly, how can you accept others as their true self if you haven't identified and accepted your own true self?


Just look at the way we as humans have evolved. The bloodlines across the world are intertwined in a way our ancestors never believed, but just as the heavens intended. Yes, we are more divided and less tolerant, accepting and forgiving as I stated before, but how can that be? Why are we still at odds over skin color, hairstyles and what religion our neighbor practices when we are the most intelligent and highest beings of all of God's creations? The most creative and innovative minds have led us this far. But what if we all had room to be ourselves and truly walk in our purpose with no judgement? How far could we advance if we did that?

If God made each and every one of us in Him image, then we are all walking reflections of Him. That means me. That means you. That means your brother and cousin too (name that song lol). That means your child's transgender teacher. That means your Jewish coworker. That means your Muslim bus driver and your African bank teller. And don't forget Beyonce', Billy Porter, Laverne Cox, Titus Burgess and Lizzo! We are so much more than what we look like. Our souls are aching to breech the surface of our skin and give the world what it truly needs: our true authentic selves. But we must get passed what we see and perceive. We must declutter our brains of assumptions and lies. We must look deeper. And it starts with changing our mindset.

With less than 48 hours left in the year and decade, I have been reflecting on what happened, what didn't happen, and what could have happened. God opened some amazing doors for me and connected me with some stellar souls. I can say that I have no regrets and I am truly looking forward to 2020. A year ago, I was very unsure where I would be, but God has seen me through a difficult, but much needed year of healing and releasing. There are a few things that came up this year that I thought would break me, but I often kept myself going with praise and worship music. If you know me, then you know how much I love music and how it plays a big role in my every day life. Gospel music has always played a major role in my mood and intentions and this year was no different. I was very encouraged and inspired by so many beautiful songs and I wanted to share some of my favorites because each one helped pull me through some dark times hence the name. All songs can be found on Amazon Music.


Pull Us Through Playlist:

1. Just For Me- Kirk Franklin
2. Pull Us Through- Jermaine Dolly ft Maranda Curtis
3. Mention- Fresh Start Worship
4. Your Love- Wo Worship
5. Nobody Like You Lord- Maranda Curtis
6. He Has His Hand On You- Marvin Sapp
7. Tell Me Where It Hurts- Fred Hammond
8. I Need You- Joshua Rogers
9. You Don't Know- Zacardi Cortez
10. God Only Knows- for KING & COUNTRY
11. He Cares For You- Rev. Milton Brunson & The Thompson Community Choir
12. Safe In His Arms- Rev. Milton Brunson & The Thompson Community Choir
13. Increase My Faith- Brian Courtney
14. You Still Love Me- Koryn Hawthorne
15. Bigger Than Me- Le'Andria Johnson
16. Deliver Me (This is My Exodus)- Donald Lawrence & Tri-City Singers & Le'Andria Johnson
17. Rain On Us- Earnest Pugh
18. Promises- Jason McGee & The Choir (ft Lena Byrd Miles)
19. Just Wanna Say- Israel Houghton
20. Kept By His Grace- Troy Snead
21. Power Belongs to God- Hezekiah Walker and The Love Fellowship Crusade Choir
    
22. No Ordinary Worship- Keontae Gavin
23. God Can Do Anything- Vashawn Mitchell
24. War- Charles Jenkins and Fellowship Chicago
25. Make Room- Jonathan McReynolds
26. Cycles (ft DOE)- Jonathan McReynolds
    
27. Settle Here Part  I & II- William Murphy
    
28. Good & Loved- Travis Greene ft. Steffany Gretzinger
29. Won't Let Go- Travis Greene
30. Do It Again- Elevation Church ft Travis Greene
31. The Potter's House- Tramaine Hawkins
32. Fearfully & Wonderfully Made- Kimberly Chante'
33. I Believe (Island Medley)- Jonathan Nelson
34. I Will Trust- Fred Hammond (ft BreeAnn Hammond)
35. Try- Keyondra Lockett
36. 2nd Win- Kierra Sheard
37. Better- Hezekiah Walker
38. For My Good- Todd Galberth
39. I Am-Jason Nelson
40. Jesus, We Love You- Gene Hoskins
41. Jesus, We Love You- Isabel Davis
42. Deeper- Anthony Nelson & The Overcomers
    
43. Going- Christina Bell
    
44. I Don't Wanna Leave- William McDowell
45. Worth- Anthony Brown & Group Therapy
46. Praying and Believing-Erica Campbell and Warren Campbell
47. Having You There- The Mississippi Mass Choir
48. In The Middle- Isaac Carree
49. He Worked It Out- The Tommies Reunion
50. Victory- Fred Jerkins (ft. Last Call)
51. Victory-Clark Sisters
52. Alright Alright- Jules Bartholomew & Judacamp ft. Latice Crawford
53. Open Door Season- Deitrick Haddon
54. Mind Blown- Shawny Wright-Davidson (ft. Byan Lowe)
    
55. Strong Name- Darius Paulk
    

​If you are going through a difficult period in your life or you feel lost or defeated, don't give up. Each day you wake up is filled with purpose and you are meant to fulfill it. Whether that's being a stay at home mom, an entrepreneur or maybe both, you have a great destiny. Be open and willing to step out on faith and soar to new heights and levels in life. That's what God wants for all of us. In the meantime, I hope this music brings you comfort, peace and encouragement.

Special thanks to my husband for making me a customizied sticker for my new wireless headphones!

In an effort to offer more to my clients and make a greater impact in my community through my business, I am launching my Community Partners Campaign.

This campaign will involve me working with other local businesses and family care providers to ensure that our friends and neighbors can take care of their families and affirm that our community is thriving.

My mentorship program will allow me to work with individuals seeking to become a doula or birthworker. Applications will be available soon.

My referral program will consist of individuals and businesses who are interested in being brand ambassadors and receive incentives in return for referring clients. Inquiry forms will be available soon.

The crowdfunding portion of my campaign will consist of monetary donations from friends, family and supporters of my business. Your donations will help fund community events, provide supplies for families and sponsor trainings and other educational opportunities. In honor of the new decade approaching, I am asking for $20.20 from each donor. Any amount is greatly appreciated! Please send donations to my PayPal or Cash App $KellyKCollins.

You can learn more about my campaign here. Thank you for your support!