 When I started babysitting at the age of 14 years old, I knew I wanted to be a mom. Over the years I have built my career working as a child care worker, nanny and family consultant all before becoming a doula. Working with families and supporting them is what I have always wanted to do. So when I found out I was pregnant with my son in 2010, I was very excited that my dream of becoming a mother would soon come to pass. Most people I knew considered me (and my husband) to be an expert in all things baby/child related because of my education and work experience. Friends and family were very excited for us as we were engaged, planning a wedding and now expecting a baby. But the truth is that we were just like all first-time parents. We were happy, nervous, anxious and unprepared. Even with everything we knew, researched, read and watched about pregnancy and birth, there was still a little grey cloud of unknown hanging over us. The day my son was born was and still is the happiest day of my life (right next to my two wedding days). I quickly found out that I had no idea what I was doing. Yes, me. The woman that everyone came to for baby product suggestions, parenting advice and last minute babysitting when their sitter cancelled. I was so tired and I wasn't taking care of myself like I should have been. Being a newlywed and new mom was one of the most challenging periods of my life. I definitely could have used a postpartum doula during this time. But eventually, I found my rhythm and decided to go back to work as a nanny after eight months at home with my little guy. Not four months after returning to work, I begin to have lots of pain. After a few visits to my doctor and a specialist, I was scheduled for surgery. The fibroids I had were growing and starting to push against my other organs. When my son was just 18 months old I had to have a major surgery and I was terrified that something was going to happen to me while I was on the operating table. Again, I could have used a doula to comfort me, listen to me as I cried and secretly planned for my untimely death. And of course while I recovered from surgery. My husband was amazing, just like he was after we had our son. But when I was at home alone with a toddler and four incisions in my stomach that hurt like bloody hell and he was at work, I needed nothing short of my own mother or a doula. Shortly after my surgery, I took my son for his 18 month check up. This was the beginning of the end. This was when life smacked me in the face and said I wasn't good enough. The pediatrician suggested getting my son evaluated because he wasn't saying much. At all. My husband and I ultimately decided that we would hold off on getting our son evaluated. We had worked with enough children to know that they all develop at different paces. Instead, we enrolled him in day care to see how much that would help. When our son turned two years old, we saw the pediatrician again and agreed to get him evaluated. The day my son was evaluated was the hardest day of my life as a mother. I had to sit and listen to someone tell me that my son was not developing like most children. People who had never met my son and spent less than two hours with him before telling me that he was severely delayed. I had to take the words they were telling me and swallow them like a horse pill instead of cry, scream and throw them out of my house. Over the next several months, I was in a daze. I questioned every decision I had made since giving birth to him. Did I breastfeed him long enough? Should I have not supplemented with formula? Should I have read to him more? Did I hold him or talk to him enough? Truthfully, I was on mommy autopilot. I did all of the necessary things to keep him alive, but I'm not sure I was really present. I'm not sure I was a whole mother, the mother he needed me to be for him. I felt like someone had come into my home and told me that what I was doing as a parent was wrong and that I was hurting my child. I felt like a bad mother. If I ever needed a doula in my adult life, it was during this time. Once I started writing about my feelings and opening up to my husband, I decided to be my son's advocate. I was not going to let anyone tell me who my son was and what he should be doing. I was no longer going to let anyone make me feel like I was an inadequate mother. I refused to let my son be categorized, stigmatized and labeled for the rest of his life. By no means was this the end of all of my heartache. There would be many more trials, tribulations, nay-sayers and even a couple of speech therapists that would come and go. But I was and still am determined to be the best mother I can be for my son. My son will be five years old exactly one month from today. I cannot tell you how happy I am to see how much he has grown. Most days are bittersweet because I remember when he would just laugh and smile. Now he tells me 'no' almost every day and he has more words than I could have imagined at four years old. He is reading and writing and he loves school. While my son still sees a speech therapist once a week, he is ready for Kindergarten and I have no reservations about how he will thrive in school. He is the child I always knew he was in my heart. I often wonder what I missed out on as a mother during this time. If only I had a doula when my son was diagnosed with a speech delay... Traditionally, doulas provide care and support for families during labor and the postpartum period. But doulas could be and should be utilized for so much more. If you need non-judgmental, unbiased support for your family, hire a doula. 
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 This past weekend, I had the wonderful opportunity to celebrate one of my closest friends. She is expecting her second child in just a few weeks and her friends and family gathered at her baby shower on Saturday. While I was unable to stay for the entire celebration, I did have a chance to speak with my friend's husband for a few moments. After another friend of ours asked him if he was ready to be in a household full of women, he stated, "Yes, I can't wait! I have enough testosterone for the house!" He then went on to say that he learned a lot the first time around and he knows what to expect. "I'm ready to love this little girl just like her mom and big sister." I cannot tell you how happy I was to hear my friend's husband say these words and the words that followed during our chat. He may not be ready for EVERYTHING that comes with having two children (who is?), but I know that he is ready to face it head on. For us veteran parents, we remember all too well what it is like being a first time parent, no matter how much time has gone by. However, we also know that each child is different and having a second (or third or fourth) child will be a completely new experience that we cannot prepare for. The excitement of a new baby brings "all the feels" until sh*t gets real! You can quote me on that (: Birthing parents already have so much to worry about and let's face it, sometimes dads and partners need some help and guidance in regards to what to do and their role as a parent and help mate. Below are some tips for new fathers and partners that will help them thrive through the postpartum period:
Patrice and Kevin, Congratulations again! Thank you for allowing me to share in your special day. I cannot wait to meet Miss Parker Ann and be your doula!   Yesterday, I posted about my guest blog series for 2016. I am so excited to share my first guest blog series interview!
Just a few short months ago while browsing Facebook, I came across a beautiful photo of a woman with purple hair! She was a fellow doula and she had just relocated to North Carolina. While her hair color grabbed my attention (mostly because I took the plunge last Mother's Day and dyed my hair blue like Wonder Woman), I felt this instant connection to her. There was something about her photo, something deeper. I knew she had a story. After connecting on Facebook and getting to know each other a little, I asked her if she would do a blog interview for me. I am sharing just a piece of her story today and I am grateful that Sandra, the Greensboro Doula, has allowed me to do so. 1. Give me some background information on yourself and your doula career. I planted the seed for my doula career when I became pregnant in 2009. I gathered tons of information and pretty quickly I was the source to go to for other women in several pregnancy groups. I realized THIS is what I wanted to do: Giving women the information they need to make informed decisions about their pregnancy and birth. At that time I lived in Germany and doulas were basically unheard of. But my midwife's assistant pointed my in the right direction. I moved to the USA short after and my career was pushed in the background when I had my second son. Then my husband became sick and passed away. During that time I tried to gather information and helped other moms without attending births, yet. I did my training and started my birth doula career. Soon I discovered bereavement work and that there is a need for bereavement doulas all over the country. So I decided to get socialized in that. I opened a birth center in Michigan in 2015 and got a good start in the Metro Detroit birth world. Last year I relocated my family from Michigan to North Carolina. Lots of changes, many additional trainings, and a plan to rock the birth world later - here I am! 2. What made you decide to relocate your family and business to North Carolina? The main reason was my health. The Michigan winters and my fibromyalgia don't go very well together. I visited NC several times and realized I do much better over here. So I moved. I wish the business transition was that easy... But we have a great doula community in the triad and things will work out over time. 3. What was the hardest part of relocating both personally and professionally? Leaving my friends and the doula community in Michigan behind. I make new connections easily. But it is always hard to say goodbye. 4. What did you learn about yourself and your support system during and after your move? The Michigan doulas still claim me as "theirs". That is funny. And it makes me proud. It means I left a good footprint there. I can still count on them and my friends if I need help or a listening ear. The NC community welcomed me warmly. I found incredible friends and people to work with. I proud of my ability to adjust easily. 5. How have you adjusted to being down south and how is business? Not quiet yet, but I'm on the right track. Things are still very different to me, not just in the south, but the whole country. The south is special, though. I struggle with the gap of people being very nice and others are incredibly racist. I am certainly different than most people in the Bible Belt... 6. What is your doula niche? How do potential clients recognize you? Purple hair! That makes me laugh, but that is really the case. People recognize me and it opens conversations. I also drive a car that is covered in GREENSBORODOULA advertisement. I think 'my' thing is that I'm a foreigner. My accent is unique and so is my experience. My childbirth education classes and exercise classes are based on the German model. I offer postpartum exercise classes to rebuild your abdominal muscles and strengthen your pelvis floor. I never heard of any other doula doing it. But it is standard care in Germany. 7. Where do you see your business in 5 years? I would like to own a flourishing agency that covers all services. I hope still in Greensboro, because I like where I live. 8. What advice do you have for any doula looking to relocate or revamp their business? Getting a business started as a doula in Greensboro is tough. The care providers are not welcoming a doula with open arms. Connecting and networking with local doulas is the key. 9. You recently took a trip to Germany. How was it? Was it a trip for work or pleasure? Both! My 'baby' cousin had her first baby. I promised her to be there when she's giving birth and help her as a postpartum doula. Of course I had the chance to meet with a few friends and family, but I really connected with my cousin. It is so different to doula for your own family. It was such an honor and it sure brought us closer together. We chat a lot about her adventures as a new mom. It amazes me to see her as a wonderful mom and wife, and how she is facing the challenges it brings. She's not really my 'baby' cousin anymore! 10. Tell me about your latest "doula win." Being recognized by the local doula community. That means a lot to me. Showing that I am a professional AND a team player. If you get asked by well known doulas if you would work for them, is a big honor! Sandra's Bio: I was born June 16th in Germany. I moved to the USA 2011 and married my wonderful husband. We have two beautiful sons together. 2014 I became a widow. I decided to relocate my doula business and family from Michigan to North Carolina. GreensboroDoula opened its doors 2015 and since January 2016 I have an office downtown Greensboro. Sandra Nishihata Professional Doula, Childbirtheducator GreensboroDoula 301 S Elm Street M Floor, Suite 10 Greensboro. NC 27401 Phone: (801) 874-2071 Email: [email protected] www.GreensboroDoula.com Facebook.com/GreensboroDoula To be featured in the WYD guest blog series, click here for more information.  While preparing my plans and writing my goals for 2016, I reached out to a few doulas that I had been following. I wanted to learn more about them and their paths to becoming doulas. I also wanted to learn more about them personally as well as share their journeys and businesses with others. Today, I am very excited to finally present my guest blog series for 2016!
The Who's Your Doula? guest blog series will feature doulas from all over the U.S. and the world. My main purpose for this guest blog series is help doulas gain business exposure and to reinforce the impact of doulas as professionals and their influence in the birth world. If you are a doula, collective or agency that would like to be featured, please email me at [email protected]. I will be kicking off the Who's Your Doula? guest blog series starting tomorrow! Here is a sneak peek at my first feature! Be sure to check back tomorrow for the full interview! For most couples and families, today has been filled with flowers, candy, stuffed animals, romantic meals, surprises, gifts and of course, love. I had the pleasure of volunteering in one of the baby rooms at my church this morning and then I spent the rest of the day with my husband and son. But for many, Valentine's Day is only a reminder of a harsh reality. The reality of their past and current emptiness & grief. Today, I want to dedicate this post to those couples and families who are trying to figure out what to do with all of the love they have to give. My thoughts are with each and every one of you. To the couple patiently waiting on a positive pregnancy test... To the parents who have suffered through miscarriage and pray for their rainbow baby daily... To the couple who has exhausted all of their financial options on IVF and fertility treatments... To the father who has yet to meet his baby because he is serving in the military... To the two moms who are beginning their adoption journey after years of trying to start a family... To the parents whose daughter is still missing after she was abducted... To the mother who lost her son to senseless violence... Keep your heart open. Let the love of a parent resonate through your very being. Let your heart's desire be known and continue to hope. Hope that one day that love will fulfill you even if your dream of parenthood changes. Hold on to that love. Grip & cling to it like your own life depends on it. You may not understand everything that has lead up to this moment, but the love you have for your child is like no other. It cannot be broken. It cannot be tamed. It cannot be denied. Embrace it. Feel it. Embody all that parenthood gives and takes from us. Live and love the way you know how-through hope.  |
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August 2026
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