 You have a positive pregnancy test.
Now what? There’s a moment—sometimes quiet, sometimes overwhelming—when you realize everything has just changed. Whether this pregnancy was long-awaited or a complete surprise, you might be feeling joy, disbelief, gratitude, fear, often all at once. And that's okay. Take a breath. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Early pregnancy is less about doing everything “right” and more about settling into the reality that your body is beginning an incredibly beautiful process. In these first days and weeks, one of the most important things you can do is begin building your support system. That includes choosing your care provider, whether that’s an OB-GYN, midwife, or a combination of both, and scheduling your first prenatal appointment. This visit typically happens around 8–10 weeks, though some providers will see you sooner depending on your history. At that appointment, you can expect a mix of medical history questions, lab work, and possibly your first ultrasound. It can feel like a lot, especially if this is your first time navigating the healthcare system in pregnancy, so don’t hesitate to write down questions ahead of time. You deserve to feel informed, heard, and supported from the very beginning. Meanwhile, your body is doing intense behind-the-scenes work, and the first trimester can be humbling. Fatigue isn’t just “being tired”. It can feel like your body is asking you to slow down in a way you’re not used to. Nausea, food aversions, bloating, headaches, and emotional ups and downs are all common. Give yourself permission to adjust your expectations. Eat what you can tolerate, when you can tolerate it. Small, frequent meals often help, as does staying hydrated, even if that means sipping water slowly throughout the day. Ginger, vitamin B6, and rest can be supportive, but most of all, listen to your body. This is not the season to push through at full speed. Sharing your news is another layer to navigate, and there’s no universal timeline. Some families choose to tell close loved ones right away, while others wait until after the first trimester. Both choices are valid. Consider who you would want in your corner if things felt uncertain—that can help guide your decision. When it comes to work, you are not obligated to share immediately unless your job involves physical risks or requires early accommodations. When you do share, it can be helpful to come prepared with a general idea of your needs, even if they’re minimal at first. Your partner, if you have one, may be experiencing their own mix of emotions, and this is a beautiful time to begin growing together in this journey. Support in early pregnancy often looks simple but meaningful. Helping with meals, picking up extra responsibilities when you’re exhausted, attending appointments when possible and creating space for open conversations. Encouragement, patience and presence go a long way. This is also a great time to start learning together—about pregnancy, birth options, and what kind of experience you both hope to create. If you’ve walked this road before, this pregnancy may feel familiar in some ways and completely new in others. Expanding your family, especially going from one child to two, brings a different kind of preparation. There’s the emotional piece of knowing your firstborn will no longer be your only, and the practical reality of managing your energy while still parenting. You may feel a pull between savoring your time with your older child and preparing for what’s ahead. Invite them into the journey in age-appropriate ways by talking about the baby, reading books together and letting them feel involved. At the same time, be gentle with yourself. Parenting while pregnant can be physically and emotionally demanding, and it’s okay if this season looks different than your first. You might also find yourself thinking more intentionally about postpartum this time around. What support did you wish you had before? What would make the transition smoother for your family now? These are important questions worth sitting with early. Above all, know this: you don’t have to do pregnancy perfectly. There is no gold standard of how you should feel or what you should be doing at every moment. There is only your body, your baby, and your unfolding story. Surround yourself with care, stay curious, and give yourself grace as you step into this new chapter. Ready to have support from day one? Reach out to schedule a complimentary consultation and learn more about doula services, birth planning, and postpartum support.
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 The Honest Truth: parenting is hard. Not just “I’ve-been-up-all-night” hard, or “my-toddler-just-flushed-my-keys” hard. I'm talking next-level hard. And while sleep deprivation, mystery stains, and the eternal search for matching socks play their part, there's one sneaky culprit that makes this whole parenting thing truly bananas:
Everyone suddenly becomes a parenting expert. Yep. The real reason parenting is so hard? It’s not your baby. It’s your great aunt Carol, your neighbor Sharon, the random barista who just “has to say something,” and don’t forget the infinite scroll of contradictory advice from Instagram moms who look like they haven’t ever had spit-up on their sweaters. The real reason parenting is so hard is because everybody has an opinion on how YOU should parent YOUR child(ren). How Sway?! You bring your baby to the park and someone tells you they’re underdressed. Another tells you they’re overdressed. One stranger says co-sleeping is the only way, while another gasps in horror that your baby isn’t in their crib at 7:03 p.m. sharp. If babies came with instruction manuals, every page would be written in a different handwriting—with conflicting advice in the margins. Welcome to the wild ride of unsolicited parenting wisdom. But here’s the thing no one tells you enough (unless you’ve got that one cool friend who keeps it real): You’re allowed to ignore the noise. In fact, you should. Because the truth is, nobody—not your mom, not your pediatrician (okay, maybe a little bit your pediatrician), and definitely not that Facebook mom’s group—is raising your baby. You are. And you’re going to get a lot of things right. You’re also going to mess some stuff up. That’s called parenting. It’s not a mistake, it’s how it works. Every cry, every giggle, every midnight panic-Google (please don't Google) builds your parenting muscle. You don’t learn how to parent by reading all the blogs (yes, including this one—ironic, I know). You learn it the old-fashioned way: by doing it. By trial. By error. By rerouting. And by trusting that little voice inside you that says, “Okay, I’ve got this. I think.” So, the next time someone offers you the tip that “saved their baby’s sleep/feeding/sanity,” smile politely. Say “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” And then do whatever the heck you think is right. Because you're not raising their baby. You’re raising yours. And you're doing great—even if your shirt is inside out and your toddler just ate a crayon. Hang in there, trust your gut, and remember: no one knows your baby like you do. Someday you’ll get to give your own unsolicited advice. Just think of it as a rite of passage.  Parenthood is a rollercoaster—equal parts joy, terror, and mystery odors. Some days you're crushing it and other days you're barely hanging on and giving it just enough to keep everybody alive. The truth? Raising kids is weird, messy, loud... and absolutely hilarious. If you know where to look (hint: everywhere), the humor in parenthood is not only real, it's what will keep you sane. 1. The Comedy is in the Chaos The toddler tantrum over the “wrong” color cup. The six-year-old logic that explains how underwear is optional at school. The teen who’s suddenly embarrassed by the way you breathe. These moments are comedy gold—eventually. Maybe not in the moment, but give it time. Or a group text with your best parent friends. Need reassurance? Check out “Sh*t My Dad Says” by Justin Halpern, which began as a Twitter account and evolved into a hilarious memoir of growing up with a brutally honest (and unintentionally funny) father. It’s a reminder that even the most off-the-wall parenting moments make for the best stories later. 2. Lower the Bar (And Your Expectations) Perfection is a trap. Let go of the Pinterest-worthy bento boxes and embrace the chicken nuggets. Your child will survive mismatched socks and cereal for dinner. The real parenting wins are surviving Target with toddlers or managing to drink your coffee before it gets cold. For a perfect dose of reality, “Toddlers Are Aholes: It’s Not Your Fault” by Bunmi Laditan delivers a painfully accurate (and funny) look at life with tiny, irrational dictators. She reminds us all that it’s okay to laugh at the absurdity of parenting life—because that’s what it is: absurd. 3. Kids Say the Darndest (And Most Terrifying) Things Children are unfiltered little truth bombs with a gift for mortifying their parents in public. Their questions, observations, and bedtime stall tactics are often unintentionally hilarious. Take comfort in “I Heart My Little A-Holes” by Karen Alpert, a laugh-out-loud collection of parenting mishaps, awkward moments, and brutally honest truths. Alpert’s self-deprecating style gives all parents permission to laugh at themselves—and their offspring. 4. Celebrate the Small Wins Did you remember picture day? Amazing. Got your child to eat something green? You’re a wizard. Laughed at a poop joke? Welcome to the club. Parenthood is built on these small victories and the ability to find joy (or at least sarcasm) in them. For inspiration, revisit “Go the Fk to Sleep” by Adam Mansbach, the picture book for grown-ups that perfectly captures the bedtime battle—and your inner monologue. Bonus: there’s a version read by Samuel L. Jackson that deserves a spot in the Parenting Hall of Fame. 5. Share the Struggle Some of the funniest parenting moments come from swapping stories with other sleep-deprived grown-ups. Community is key. Whether it's a mom group, a dad podcast, or a 2 a.m. Reddit thread titled "Is this rash normal?", laughter connects us. Don’t miss “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids” by Jancee Dunn, which tackles the relationship side of parenting with humor, honesty, and actionable advice for keeping your sense of humor—and your marriage—alive through the trenches. Parenting isn’t a sitcom, but it sure has the material for one. So the next time your kid draws a mustache on the cat or announces loudly in public that “Mommy tooted,” take a breath and laugh. These are the moments you will retell at their graduation party... or wedding... or to their therapist. After all, if we can't laugh at parenting, we’ll probably just cry into that day-old coffee. And that’s just no fun.  More Humorous Books to Keep You Sane:
 Welcome to the wild, beautiful, and sometimes bewildering world of parenthood. That first year after your baby arrives? It’s a whirlwind. You will survive off of cat naps and cold coffee. You won't see or talk to your friends for months at a time. The words "clean up" will mean something completely different after a few weeks. You will think about things you have never thought of before like death from lack of sleep or cracked nipples. You will do things like dance to Prince at 2 a.m. just to get your baby to stop crying. And sometimes you will wonder what you were thinking when you wanted to have a baby. But the first year is also equal parts joy, exhaustion, and recalibration of your entire life.
You’ll hear advice from every direction, but there are some truths you don’t hear enough about. So let me tell you the real deal about what to expect, how to survive, and maybe even thrive during that unforgettable (and often unforgiving) first year. 1. Just Like Marriage, the First Year Is the Hardest Bringing a baby home is a dream come true… and also a shock to the system. You're navigating sleepless nights, diaper blowouts, feeding schedules, and a brand-new identity as “Mom” or “Dad.” It’s not uncommon for couples to experience tension during this time. You’re both stretched thin. Be patient with each other. Communicate often. Laugh when you can. And remember: this is a season — not forever. 2. You and Your Partner Will Have Different Parenting Styles One of you may be laid-back. The other may Google every symptom at 2 a.m. You might handle crying with cuddles, and your partner with rocking and pacifiers. Different isn’t wrong, it’s just different. Work together to find a middle ground. Respect and trust each other. Your baby will benefit from seeing both of you show up with love, even in your own unique ways. 3. Children Change Everything, Including Your Marriage Your life as a couple takes a backseat to bottles, burp cloths, and baby giggles. The freedom you once had to plan spontaneous date nights? Gone (for now). But with intentional effort, your marriage can not only survive, it can grow. Let your partner know you still see them. Prioritize time to connect, even if it’s just a hug in the kitchen or a whispered “I love you” over a mountain of laundry. 4. Intimacy Is a Lifeline, Not a Luxury We’re not just talking about sex—although that, too, when you're ready. Intimacy in the first year is about touch, emotional closeness, and feeling like a team. Don't let exhaustion steal that bond. Find your rhythm again. Sometimes, intimacy looks like holding hands while watching baby sleep. Other times, it’s a heartfelt conversation after midnight feedings. Keep choosing each other. 5. Relationships Will Change (Be Prepared to Lose Some) It’s painful, but true. Not everyone will stick around once you enter parenthood. Some friends won’t understand why you can’t text back or why you keep canceling plans. Some family members might not support your choices. Let them go with grace. The ones who matter will show up. And you’ll find new connections — in playgroups, in your neighborhood, even online — with people who get it. 6. Go Out — Even If It’s With the Baby Yes, it’s a hassle to pack the diaper bag, time feedings, and navigate the world with a baby in tow. Do it anyway. Fresh air and a change of scenery are crucial for your mental health. Grab coffee. Take a walk. Go to the bookstore. Even a trip to the grocery store can feel like a mini vacation in those early months. 7. Time Management Will Be Redefined Forget the old to-do lists. Success now looks like everyone got dressed today or you remembered to eat lunch before 3 p.m. Time becomes elastic and weird. You’ll become a master multitasker—answering emails while rocking a baby, folding laundry during naps, and scheduling showers like military operations. Flexibility is your new superpower. 8. Know the Signs of Mental Health Distress Postpartum depression and anxiety are real. They don’t make you a bad parent. They make you human. If you're crying more than usual, feeling numb, irritable, or disconnected, don’t brush it off. Talk to your doctor. Reach out to a friend. Therapy and support groups can be life-changing. You deserve to feel like you again. 9. Always Have a Camera Nearby These moments—the sleepy smiles, the first laugh, the way your baby wraps their hand around your finger — they go by fast. Capture them. Even the messy, imperfect ones. You’ll be so glad you did when you're looking back, wondering how they grew up so quickly. 10. Don’t Stress Over Developmental Milestones Every baby is on their own timeline. Some crawl at six months, others not until ten. Some sleep through the night early, others don’t until toddlerhood. Comparison steals joy. Trust your instincts and your pediatrician — not Instagram. 11. Your New Normal: Work-Life Balance, Redefined Returning to work? Staying at home? Building a side hustle during naps? However your days are structured, balance isn’t about equal time, it’s about presence. When you’re with your baby, be with them. When you’re working, give yourself permission to focus. You won’t always get it right. That’s okay. You’re learning. And that, in itself, is parenting. The first year of parenting is a masterclass in growth—for you, your partner, and your baby. It’s messy. It’s beautiful. And it’s okay if it doesn’t look picture-perfect. Breathe. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate the small wins. And remember: you’re not alone.  Becoming a parent is often described as one of life’s most joyful experiences. But what many new parents don’t expect is that joy can coexist with anxiety, sadness, irritability, or even despair. For many new parents, the flood of hormones, sleep deprivation, and life changes can bring on an abundance of feelings. These early emotions are often referred to as the "baby blues", and they affect up to 80% of new mothers. Thankfully, baby blues usually fade within two weeks. But what happens when those feelings don’t go away or they get worse? If you’re experiencing lingering or intense emotional distress after having a baby, you may be dealing with a Perinatal Mental Health Disorder (PMHD). PMHDs are the most common complications of childbirth, affecting up to 1 in 5 new moms and 1 in 10 new dads. Let's explore what Perinatal Mental Health Disorders (PMHDs) are, how to spot the warning signs, who is at higher risk, and—most importantly—where to get support. What are PMHDs?
PMHDs (Perinatal Mental Health Disorders) include a range of mental health conditions that can occur during pregnancy and up to a year postpartum. They include:
Who is at risk for PMHDs? PMHDs can affect anyone, regardless of background. However, certain factors can increase vulnerability:
Some sobering statistics:
Warning Signs to Watch For It's normal to feel emotionally sensitive or tearful in the days following birth. This is often referred to as the “baby blues” and typically resolves within 1–2 weeks. But when symptoms persist or intensify, it could be a sign of a PMHD. Here are some signs that what you're feeling might be more than just baby blues: Emotional Symptoms:
Physical and Behavioral Symptoms:
If these symptoms last more than two weeks after birth, interfere with your daily functioning, or feel like they’re getting worse, it’s time to seek help. What to Do Next: Steps Toward Healing Please know that you are not weak and you are not alone if you are experiencing signs of a perinatal mental health disorder. Here's what you can do to seek help: 1. Talk to your healthcare provider- Let your OB/GYN, midwife, or primary care doctor know how you're feeling. They can screen you for PMHDs and connect you with mental health professionals. 2. Reach out to a therapist- Look for a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health. Many offer telehealth appointments, which can be especially helpful with a newborn. 3. Connect with support groups- Sometimes, talking to other parents who have been there can be incredibly healing. Peer support groups can reduce isolation and offer real-world advice. 4. Involve your partner or support system- Let those close to you know what you’re experiencing. They may be able to help with baby care, offer emotional support, or attend appointments with you. 5. Emergency support- If you're having thoughts of self-harm or harming your baby, seek emergency help immediately by calling emergency services or going to the nearest ER. Resources for Support Here are some trusted organizations offering help:
If you’re struggling right now, please know: this is not your fault. PMHDs can affect anyone, and with help, they do get better. You deserve support, healing, and peace during this chapter of parenthood. Take the first step. Help is waiting. To learn more about PMHDs and the fourth trimester, sign up for my Postpartum Recovery Class. |
About the AuthorKelly Collins Archives
May 2026
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